I've been posting a lot about Daryl now... and not God...

I wonder how He feels.... I'm so sorry God.... I go back and forth on you...
I'm tired of doing this to You and I know you feel worse than I...

But God...... I sure do miss You.
I really really really do.

God, I'm in this struggle God...

I know You're still working on me... but God... I'm hurting You in this process...
but I want to be with You.... I REALLY REALLY REALLY DO.

I love You God.
I really do... I know.... it's not as much.... as You love me... and my actions doesn't really show how much I love You... but I really do miss being Your girl...

This intimacy we have...

I miss it too God.
I REALLY DO.

I'm learning how I really do can't boast how much I love You, and how all I can boast about is how You love a failure like me......................................

I am seeing how MUCH I don't deserve YOU....
How MUCH unworthy I am for Your calling and for EVERY SINGLE THING YOU BLESS ME WITH.

I ask myself everyday WHY and HOW CAN YOU?!

I want to fall in love with You again God...
more than before......

I want to fall in love with You more than how I fell in love with You when I first saw who You really are and I can't see anything but YOU.

Help me God, wait for You and TRUST in You.
Help me God walk with You ALL OF MY DAYS.
Help me God to know You're God and let You be God.

I need help to show You... what You deserve....

I am so sorry God.

I am so sorry.