I miss my church family, A LOT.

When will Yell find God again?
He kept on saying he's good with God, but you know what, if anyone is legitimate with God, God will radiant in his face, his words, his actions, and his ways.

But I don't see God in Yell.
He is not all over him.

I'm tired of going to his church and just be a normal christian...
You know, go there, read the bible there, sing worship there, pray there, be convicted there, lalalalala
Same old cycle, like a little baby.
Such a beginner christian.

I don't feel like growing.

I'm tired of talking to Bin & Yell and feel like talking to beginner christians...

I want to grow.

And what I hate, I talk about God and stuff and they talk as if they've been there done that.

But you know what, why did you stop?!

I was in the best years of my life with God without Yell and when he came everything went downhill between me and God.

I always prayed for a man who is like God and will draw my heart way closer to God than whatever I have in mind.

I hate Yell telling me that this dude doesn't exist and I'll just be a nun.
I hate it when Yell keep saying, "I'm working on it"

I've been waiting 2 years already for HIM to get back at at.
2 years I've wasted, without Christ.

God, I don't want to seem like I'm asking for too much, Yell is perfect... worldly way...
But in the category that u made in my mind when I was with You, he doesn't fit there anymore...

I miss my ministries
I miss my church family
I miss You God

I miss being REAL.

I'm TOO empty with out You God.
I have few more drops left... but super close to being empty.

I don't know what to do God.
I know what to do, but I don't...

I know I gotta leave Him.
But I don't want to...

It will best for him
His life will strive

Whatever pain he would be going through I pray You would totally use it so He can be super close to You. But I'm scared to hurt him, but I've been hurting You for too long.... way too long God...


God please give me strength...

I wanna go back to serving
I want my fire back
I want my first Love back
I want US back...
You and I.
I miss my church family.
I miss my real family.
I miss them all...

I miss my life with You God...