I am turning 23 this year.

7 more years till I am 30.
2 more years till I am 25.

Would I ever have my chance to be an inspiration to young musicians.
Would I ever have a little taste of my impossible dream.
Would it ever happen...

I just want to be in that race.
I just want to be an inspiration.

It's so hard to be an inspiration when I can't even inspire myself.
I want to be that person that the little discouraged dreamers would see as an example that
Nothing is impossible.

When would it happen God
Would it ever happen to me?

They said if you put such heaviness in someones heart it means that is what they are made for.
Well, I am 22 and I have this heaviness since I was 8
and I am still not that girl you made.
Still not doing what you said.

Still stuck in the bottom.

It's always been you and God.

Your voice is my lullaby, your embrace is my blanket, your eyes are my night sky, You're all I need to keep me safe & warm tonight 
-SEPTEMBER 8, 2009

wondering how is she gunna answer those questions when summer's over.
-August 22, 2009

Today was the BEST!! ^_~
-August 19, 2009

In a relationship with Daryl Ogalino

-Feb 16, 2009 (I updated my relationship status with him for the first time)

Hi God, I know You hear and know everything... I will wait.

-December 31, 2010

Every guy should be like Jesus. That way no girl will ever cry...
You know what, everyone should be like Jesus. So everyone will treat each other well, everyone will feel loved and SUPER special and the world will be a very happy place forever and ever.

-September 19, 2011

Most of your unhappiness is due to listening to yourself instead of God.
- Rick Warren

July 15, 2011

Many more things I saw lol but maybe I'll look back next time.

I just want to ask, would You ever let me have him forever?

With Your blessing?

Today I hung out with Troie

In my house, at 11pm-1am
We had tea, watched TV and talked.

I was really scared to do this because, I know if Yell finds out it will hurt him.

I never wanted to hurt Yell.
NEVER.

I really thought about it and talked to Alexa if I should. And she said, if Daryl gets hurt maybe its his push to move on.

I am also nervous because I know I think Troie is very attractive. And I didnt know what to do because I feel like I am cheating. Even if technically I am not, because I am single.

I was going to back out, but Troie was already at my work to pick me up. So I guess. Lol

& you know, I always thought there is going to be potential between me and Troie.

But during our hang out, I saw how and why I still can't let go of Yell. Troie and I are just homies lol, and Yell is still my missing puzzle piece.

I really thought Troie could replace Yell and help me move on, but he actually made me love Yell more. Deeper than I thought I can.

Troie and I can relate very well since we are in kind of the same boat with our partners. We both feel like we are getting left behind in life & not have it all together while both of them are going further and further and doing great things. We're both having a hard time excelling in life but have the strong desire to achieve great things. And by the time we get there, we still both desire to have them as our prize or maybe not, but it would be great to have them there.

We both want them back when we have it all together. We both don't want them now because we're both still a huge mess, but if we have it all figured out maybe yeah, but since we don't, we just have to learn how to let go for now. We still love them deeply, its just Troie and I wants to give them both the best versions of us.

Its nice to have a friend who understands and on the same road as I am. I am glad.

Before, Troie for me is Yell's biggest threat, but after today. I realized that no one can ever come close to who Yell is in my life. Not even Troie. Not anyone else. NO ONE.

Yell will forever be the man who will make my day.

I wish I can tell him how much I love him right now.

I miss telling him that.

Maybe I'll just say it here for now.

I love you Yell, more than you could ever know.