God's Best

Hi, I don't know where you are.
But wherever you are I'm sorry.

I am blocking you out too...

Future wife is terrified of everything.

And I've decided not to welcome anything.
Not even you.

I heard you're amazing.

My last one was, and still managed to make a fool out of me.

Sorry GB
I am praying that God will never introduce you to me.
If He did, I am dedicated to push you away.

I pray that you will find someone that doesn't have as many walls as I do.

I'm done.
I had enough.

Sorry GB,
For sure when we meet, I will look at you with doubt every single day.

I don't want to.
Believe me, I hate being scared. I hate not giving myself a chance. I hate looking at nice amazing people with doubt.

I just can't help it.

It just happens.

I can't help but be that way.

Starting today, I am making a vow to myself that all I am going to love is the Lord.

And I am going to push everyone away.
No matter how nice and amazing they can get. I will never let anyone get too close.

So if you do exist GB.
Sorry, future wife is blocking you out and praying to our God that we will never meet.

I had enough.

I wanna go to the gym.

My church found this discount that makes us pay $25 per month. I can do it. I wanna do it.

But the sluts are in every single gym around me.

CFC. 24 Hour. Man, idk LA Fitness.

What if they're there.

I just want to live in peace.

I just wanna walk out of the house not feeling terrified.

He is so selfish God.
So selfish.

Okay it makes him happy lalala he does what he wants to do lalala okay.

But as a friend, as a HUMAN.

Does he have any respect for me and the people around him.

Man... I wish he is just a regular boyfriend that I have to get over.

That whore was my bestest best friend.
Man.

To be lied to
To be fooled
To be taken for granted
To be replaced in every single way

UGH

God, I just want to live in peace.
Please never show his face ever again.

I was okay.
Then I found out they never broke up.

Then I am back to zero.

God ayaw ko na.
I just want to be okay.

I just want to walk out of my house and not feeling terrified I might see them.

I just wanna do groceries and not be terrified that I might see them.

I WANT TO WORK OUT AND SIGN UP AT THE GYM.

I just want to be OKAY.
I WANT PEACE.
I WANT TO FORGET.
I DON'T WANT TO REMEMBER.

I'm scared of EVERYTHING.

My guards are up high.
But they're not enough God.
I need more.

I JUST DONT WANT TO REMEMBER.
I JUST DONT WANT TO BE SCARED.

PLEASE MAKE MY NEW LIFE AS IF HE NEVER EXISTED.

PLEASE GOD.
UN LANG WISH KO.

I'll even stop talking to his parents.
I'll even stop thinking of Tux... And diva...

Please, just let everything VANISH.

I DONT WANT IT.
I DONT WANT IT.

PLEASE WIPE IT ALL AWAY.
CLEAN.

PLEASE GOD I'M BEGGING YOU.