I responded with a dot.

Great job MaiQui -______-
You are now the pathetic queen.

I was just thinking about you B...
I was just ranting about you lol...

I was just rereading my blogs about you...

I SO WANNA SAY I MISS YOU TOO.

You have no idea how much I miss you too B
I miss you B so much.....................................

I so wanna respond and tell you how much I miss you and how it all hurts me rn :'((

But no...

I am already pushing it when I responded with a dot. Lol

I miss you too Brian Claros.
I miss you so much...

I wanna tell you everything I have inside...
But I will stay quiet...

I will just let it all out in here...

I miss you too B... So much.
I miss you too :'(

It's been a month now.

I bet you are over me.

You just unblocked me on IG & I don't think you know that I unblocked you on groupme few days ago.

Sundays are hard because just when I thought I was better I would see you and I would miss you.

You said bye to me today and looked at my eyes.
(LOL.... 💔 Ako na ang parang tanga LOL)

Namimiss na kita Brian but praise God that you moved on now. I promised not to ever let myself be an instrument for you to be distracted anymore. Tita Melba said SBS is growing big na, so it just shows that everything is going great :)

I just miss you, but that doesn't mean I would wanna be all over you again.

Well yeah, but that is just not right.

I am just pouring out what I have inside.
I miss you Brian.

B.

If you're him.
I am totally not ready for you.

Sabi na ngang I was not ready for you pa eh.
I prayed that if the Lord could never show his face to me till I am ready... Or maybe never 'cuz I don't think a man like you deserves a mess like me.

So sorry Lord.
So sorry B.

Lord please claim victory over my life Lord.
I am tired of getting defeated.

Help me Lord how to serve you right and live for you as you want me to Lord.

Help me hear your voice...ugh and obey it.

Lord...
So sorry...

I pray Lord that B is staying strong and na move on na xa...

Ako din...

Kasi as for now...
Miss na miss ko na xa.

Wala pang isang bwan Lord.

Pero mag-iisang taon na kme ni Brian Lord.
Tapos na kme eh.
Enough na...

Ayaw na nia saken.
I bet Brian is better now.

At peace na xa with the Lord.

Ugh.........
I will be better.

I depended on his constant reminders to do QT. To do OSL, to be on point on my Jesus game....

I depended on him on how he keeps me on check and on how he rebukes me and snaps me back to reality when I am frustrated.

I am so sorry Lord, all that belongs to you.

Lord.
I miss Brian.

But I will continue to let go...
I am sorry Lord.

I am sorry if I am hurting you rn.
Eto lang honest feels ko.

I need you Lord.
I need your help...

Lord...

Please help me Lord.

Miss na kita.

Pero lalabanan ko, ang gaganda na ng ngyayari sa buhay mo :)

Masaya na akong nanunod sa malayo.

I will always pray for you B & I am glad na umaayos na ang lahat.

Goodnight Brian.

:)

I am glad to see that Mama Claros is finally teaching! :')

I wish I can tell you how happy I am to see but I did messaged Mama Claros lol

I wish I had some of the posole.

But I am not gunna do it. I'll continue to stay away.

I am just glad to see good fruits from what happened. Tama na siguro na ginagawa natin na patay ka na sa mundo ko at patay na ko sa mundo mo. Patay patay lang lol

Okay lang na masakit na I feel na I am super condemned at church because of what happened. Okay lang na super na frustrate ako.

Andami nieo today sa SBS din :') praise God.

Masakit pero since nakikita ko ung fruits okay lang. Kitang-kita na worth ng pain.

Okay lang ako.

Nde naman ako affected.
Bakit ako affected, naging kme ba?

Minahal ko ba?
Nde naman.

Nde, I don't think na dun galing frustrations ko.

Siguro eto dahilan kea ako nahihirapan xang pakawalan...

Naging outlet ko ng mga bagay bagay si Brian. Pag nalulungkot ako, naiinis.

Nde na kailangan pa na magsabi ako magtatanobg na lang xa pag mai bumabagabag saken... Tas pagdadasal pa ko, sasabihan pa ko ng godly encouragement.

Right now, wala...

Naghahanap ako ng makakausap... Wala...

Napupuno sa loob ko...

Lord nahihirapan ako.
Lord ayaw ko malayo sayo ulit.

Lord, I need you.

I wanna obey you kea ko to ginagawa...

& enough na damage nagawa ko kai Brian.

Ginagawa ko to para sayo Lord
Para sa kanya...
Para sa family ko...

Pero Lord...
Hinihingi ko lang sa point na to...

Tulong mo...
Kasi mejo bumibigay na ko...

"Promise me when you miss me, soak in His presence"

I am guessing you hate me now.

But I hope you had a great time at PN & crunch today :)

I miss you...
But missing you is just part of moving on.

I think we are both more tired than how much we like each other.

I guess you and I will be just a memory na...
This is it.

The end of Brian Claros and MaiQui Layaoen.

:(

Oh man... You are not doing OSL now too... :/

Well I hope you have a great soaking sesh today :)) I really pray you would feel His amazing presence! Like a huge wave :)

KP said this happened, just think of this... As the way the enemy attacking us because there really is something really great that the Lord have in store for both of us.

Something really big is happening and that's why it is fighting us like this.

You said I can still pray for you & I am...

Thank you for thinking of my walk first before yours... Thank you for caring...

I hope you love God more through this discipline.

Brian.

Sorry.

Sorry we got to this point.
Sorry I completely ignored you Friday.
I saw you getting food, I saw you get water, I saw you with the youth...
You were alone when everything was done.
I am sorry.

I am so sorry.

I am sorry SBS got cancelled.
I am sorry for being too stubborn.

I am sorry for making everyone tired.

When I saw you Friday I just wanna say hi but I was fighting it.
Its better this way, you can move on better if I treat you like this.

I am so sorry for being rude.

It's great that Bao and Gerardo and baby Eli made it to church today!
I wish I can talk to them.
Oh man, how I wish I can carry and play with Eli.

I am sorry I have to move seats.
I promised to stay as far as I can to you.

It sucks that I have to be this way.

I am so sorry.

I really pray you are holding on and fighting for our God.

Its been a week since we stumbled again and that better be that very last time.

This discipline can get frustrating and discouraging, but I am praying that the Lord will show you mercy and give you strength to fight for Him.

No judgment matters but the Lord's.

I hope you never forget how dearly loved are we by our God and this is just a season of discipline and it will not last very long.

Maybe even after our discipline, I will never talk to you again... Idk

But I am surrendering our friendship too...
Everything that you and I had...

Well every memory and feelings I have for you... I am all letting it go and surrendering it to our God.

I am sick and tired of stumbling and making you stumble. I don't want to ever be in the way of the Lords plan in our lives ever again.

We are just a distraction for each other and I am so sorry..........

We were both lead by emotions...
Yes, we did focus on the Lord and such but we both know this is not what the Lord wants for both of us right now.

Obviously we still can't control ourselves lol

WE ARE NOT EVEN IN A RELATIONSHIP & WE MADE OUT TWICE, and kissed idk how many times. Held hands when we got the chance and everything!

How I wish to just stay with you and just have it be you and I....

But we haaaave to be servants with this huge calling for His kingdom.

(Lol, jk Lord. You know how much we love you and how we think of this privilege as a HUGE HONOR. I am just purely venting lol)

But what I am saying is that... If only we are still worldly then we can have each other, but we are celled for a higher purpose and we deserve so much better... Than who we are right now...

His kingdom first.

It is always better to fight for the King than for each other.

We are both warriors for the King.

Our King will let us be together if He wants to. It is all in His hands....

I am surrendering you completely B.
I am so sorry for being a Bathsheba.

I will forever fight for my Kings place in my heart even if it tortures me inside.

& I always pray you will do the same.

I don't wanna say I miss you but I do.

& Cho's right, I think I kinda did fell for you.
But that doesn't matter now.

Sorry Brian, I hope you are doing well.
I will always pray for you.