I don’t know why but the pain feels great, I crave for the pain. It feels like I need it. It soothes me.
God.
I don’t know Lord.
God.
I don’t even know if I wanna say that I want help
I want to keep drowning, I want to keep sinking.
I am embracing all the consumption just like a dying lamb that was getting eaten alive and torn apart by the pack of wolves.
God I have given up and letting them devour me.
I want to say help, but I don’t.
The pain feels nice now.
I want them to consume me and devour every bone.
I don’t know, do I scream and call for help?
Every will in me is dying.
I am surrounded by you, I am surrounded by Your love. Yes I get it.
But God,Ithink I am giving uo.
Iamgetting tired.
Sorry I am not strong enough.
I am not wise enough.
I don’t stand firm.
I gave up in the race.
I might be giving up the race.
I feel like dying God.
I know that there is more tomorrow.
Tomorrow will be better, I’ll be there.
Its just I don’t know if I wanna push through.
I can swim yah.
I am a good swimmer.
But I am letting myself drown.
Help is on its way and idk I wanna avoid it and I wanna pushi it away. I don’t want it.
I want to die.
