I want to tell him every single detail and how frustrated I am about today that I missed the bus this morning TWICE. the first one and the second one and how stressed I am because of all the midterms that coming up and that I feel so fat...
I want to tell him how I almost missed my bus again after I got out of school and miss work
I just want to call him so bad after tito called me when I was in the library and found out that Yell couldn't sleep....
I am doing my VERY VERY BEST not to let each tear fall.
I look around while I am working, hoping that he would show up and order a bunch of fat stuff... lol
or maybe sit by the window and watch me work...
whenever work would be a little slow, I would think of those times when he was in line ordering and say "Mahal naman, mahal na mahal kita" lol and watch me while he waits for his order and I would kind of see him smile while I mess up lol.......
I'm so cool about me going home alone without him...
but when I was looking for rides, there was no more bus available and Alexa's feeling lazy and Tita Fe's busy............ I just want to call him, and use that as an excuse to see him...... but I don't want him to feel like I am using him for rides..........................................................
I'm a mess.
Then, I look at the syllabus and saw how spring break is coming up...
I have so many plans! and there's SO MUCH time to be with him.......
It's fine, I can just clean and draw the entire week LOL...................................
I wish I could be there telling him it would be okay...
I wish I could be there encouraging him while he's stressin' with his exams.
I want to call and tell him if can he pray for us?
If God would give us an okay you can date now.
and ask him to ask for my leaders blessings?
He would pray but I don't think he would ask my leaders.
I'm asking for too much already and I already hurt Yell.... a lot, a lot, a lot........................................
God, can't we just grow together?
Please T____________________T
Monday, March 19, 2012
I'll just continue to pray for you.
Just like how it was before.
Because that is all I can do.
I will never stop.
Just like before.
The Lord can handle you better than I do.
I will forever pray for till we are ready.
I love you Yell...................
Because that is all I can do.
I will never stop.
Just like before.
The Lord can handle you better than I do.
I will forever pray for till we are ready.
I love you Yell...................
I really wish I could come to you right now...
and just hug you and tell you how much I want to stay.
I just want to hold your hand and let everything work between us...
I just want to tell you over and over how much I love you and how that would never ever change.
I still want to live forever with you....
and I'm really scared to know that I really did hurt you A LOT that you will never want me back and just forget everything.....hurting you is the last this I ever wanna do to you.......
You're the best man I ever had in my entire life and I never ever thought I could ever meet a man like you.....
I feel so foolish for letting go a perfect man like you.......
You're more than I could ever ask for.....
I really wish I could just live happily with you without feeling any heaviness in my heart.....
My first day without you is not even halfway done, and I am already dying....
I will forever pray for you Yell... I will never stop.
I pray that God would really move in your life in this season of waiting...
There's more space for Him now in your life now that I am gone.....................................................
I don't want to hope...
but my heart is forever yours...
and no matter what happens...
I know I will always hope that someday I would wake up seeing your face every morning.
I'll miss you :(
I just want to hold your hand and let everything work between us...
I just want to tell you over and over how much I love you and how that would never ever change.
I still want to live forever with you....
and I'm really scared to know that I really did hurt you A LOT that you will never want me back and just forget everything.....hurting you is the last this I ever wanna do to you.......
You're the best man I ever had in my entire life and I never ever thought I could ever meet a man like you.....
I feel so foolish for letting go a perfect man like you.......
You're more than I could ever ask for.....
I really wish I could just live happily with you without feeling any heaviness in my heart.....
My first day without you is not even halfway done, and I am already dying....
I will forever pray for you Yell... I will never stop.
I pray that God would really move in your life in this season of waiting...
There's more space for Him now in your life now that I am gone.....................................................
I don't want to hope...
but my heart is forever yours...
and no matter what happens...
I know I will always hope that someday I would wake up seeing your face every morning.
I'll miss you :(
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
FACEBOOK: Favorite Quotations
I'm deleting that section, so... I'll just put few stuff there, but I still want to see the quotations that inspired me, so, I'll postededs them hurr
"Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: FORGETTING WHAT IS BEHIND AND STRAINING TOWARD WHAT IS AHEAD, I PRESS on TOWARDS the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus♥" (Philippians 3:13-14)
"I can do all things, through Christ who strengthens me." (Philippians 4:13)
"NEVER GIVE UP! NEVER SURRENDER!! SPARTAHHHHH!!!!" - 300
"By perseverance the snail reached the ark" - Charles Spurgeon
"If God can forgive, why can't I?"
"Pag wala kang bilib sa sarili mo, sino pa mapapabilib mo?"
"With God, ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE!" (Matthew 19:26)
"Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: FORGETTING WHAT IS BEHIND AND STRAINING TOWARD WHAT IS AHEAD, I PRESS on TOWARDS the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus♥" (Philippians 3:13-14)
"I can do all things, through Christ who strengthens me." (Philippians 4:13)
"NEVER GIVE UP! NEVER SURRENDER!! SPARTAHHHHH!!!!" - 300
"By perseverance the snail reached the ark" - Charles Spurgeon
"If God can forgive, why can't I?"
"Pag wala kang bilib sa sarili mo, sino pa mapapabilib mo?"
"With God, ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE!" (Matthew 19:26)
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Things I wanna do with Yell before I die
Since, I just wrote my own bucket list.
I just want to write own the things I wanna do with Yell before I die hehe
Go to a Hillsong Concert together
Have a Disneyland date<3
Take a picture by the Disneyland Castle
Watch the World of Colors together!
Have a beach picture
Take walks around the beach
Go to Hawaii
Have a piknik
Have God's confirmation and approval for both of us.
-I always wanted to hear a straightforward verse for Yell and I. I think I did, but I want to have that day that both of us are going to get the same verse or whatever that God would say that "This is the love story that I've been preparing for both of you to experience in this world. This is the relationship that would honor me and would show my glory to other people."
Go to a Museum
-Completed: Tim Burton!! YEEE
Have a show together
-As solo artists and as a duet couple heh
Have a Beach or Garden Wedding
-Oh diba, I'm going to marriage na agad! Haha!
Write a love song
Write a song for Jesus
-I think Yell and I already did, but I'm not sure if it's finished. I want us to actually finish writing a song for Him and record it. Not just any other song, but a STRONG LOVE FOR GOD kind of song.
Make a ScrapBook<3
-Where we can put our pictures together and our lives over the years and we're going to show it to our children in the future :)<3
Paint something together
-You know, like a picture, a wall or MY STORE :D<3
Our bizznizzzzzzezzz<333
Build something together
-Ya know, like a tree house or something or a bird house lol
- to build something that would last :)
Introduce him to my Lola PERSONALLY before she die
Introduce him to my family in the Philippines PERSONALLY before we get married
-'Cuz I don't want my relatives to know who he is on the day of my wedding. I want them to know him long before we get married. I want them to hang out and get along. I want Yell to come with us in our family outings and go to our family gatherings in the Philippines :)
Make him a cute breakfast<3
-Shame how Yell did this to me first and I am the woman lol,
-Next time, I want to make Yell breakfast and give it to him, as soon as he gets up in the morning and it would be fancier :)<3
Do a devotional hike
-Ya know, where we hike in a high place to spend time with God together :P
A day were we would switch
-I would be Yell and he would be MaiQui lol I always wondered how it would feel to see myself in other persons body and living in someone elses. I want to do that with Yell lol
Make our dreams come true :)<3
I just want to write own the things I wanna do with Yell before I die hehe
Go to a Hillsong Concert together
Have a Disneyland date<3
Take a picture by the Disneyland Castle
Watch the World of Colors together!
Have a beach picture
Take walks around the beach
Go to Hawaii
Have a piknik
Have God's confirmation and approval for both of us.
-I always wanted to hear a straightforward verse for Yell and I. I think I did, but I want to have that day that both of us are going to get the same verse or whatever that God would say that "This is the love story that I've been preparing for both of you to experience in this world. This is the relationship that would honor me and would show my glory to other people."
-Completed: Tim Burton!! YEEE
Have a show together
-As solo artists and as a duet couple heh
Have a Beach or Garden Wedding
-Oh diba, I'm going to marriage na agad! Haha!
Write a love song
Write a song for Jesus
-I think Yell and I already did, but I'm not sure if it's finished. I want us to actually finish writing a song for Him and record it. Not just any other song, but a STRONG LOVE FOR GOD kind of song.
Make a ScrapBook<3
-Where we can put our pictures together and our lives over the years and we're going to show it to our children in the future :)<3
Paint something together
-You know, like a picture, a wall or MY STORE :D<3
Our bizznizzzzzzezzz<333
Build something together
-Ya know, like a tree house or something or a bird house lol
- to build something that would last :)
Introduce him to my Lola PERSONALLY before she die
Introduce him to my family in the Philippines PERSONALLY before we get married
-'Cuz I don't want my relatives to know who he is on the day of my wedding. I want them to know him long before we get married. I want them to hang out and get along. I want Yell to come with us in our family outings and go to our family gatherings in the Philippines :)
Make him a cute breakfast<3
-Shame how Yell did this to me first and I am the woman lol,
-Next time, I want to make Yell breakfast and give it to him, as soon as he gets up in the morning and it would be fancier :)<3
Do a devotional hike
-Ya know, where we hike in a high place to spend time with God together :P
A day were we would switch
-I would be Yell and he would be MaiQui lol I always wondered how it would feel to see myself in other persons body and living in someone elses. I want to do that with Yell lol
Make our dreams come true :)<3
MaiQuiQui's Bucket List
*I was just looking at Sheena Sy's stuff and planning my life away AGAIN lol I was writing my plans in my life again it my little journal and I thought, why not put my Bucket list here:P
Be called as a REAL singer
- You know, it's okay if I'm not famous, I just want to have shows here and there and sing<3
Be a worship leader and a teacher
-When I was figuring out what I can do for Christ, since in HS I love being infront of the class and teach them with the stuff that I researched and do reports and everything why can't I do that to give greater information for other people.
-Also, I wanted to be used as a way for other people to experience God for who He is. The first time that I actually worship was AMAZING. Music makes a HUGE impact and I wanted to be used in that amazing experience.
Give my momma and siblings the life they deserve
Take Mama, Pot and Jed to Disneyland, California Adventures and Sea World
- I so wanted to let them see the World of Colors!! The first time I saw it, I cried because it was so beautiful and Pot can't get to see it. Before I die, I want them to see and experience the happiest place on earth!!
-Sea World! 'cuz I remember Pot always wanted to see a Tiger Shark, Whale Shark (I'm not sure if it's there hahahah just in case) and SHAMUMU!!!!! When he was a little boy. The first time I visited Sea World, I know Pot would love the place. I want to feel that he can have still live his amazing childhood no matter what age he is. I just want him to see him happy again.
Take Mama, Pot, Jed and Nikki to a Hillsong Concert
- All of us to worship and experience God together in that in that kind of level. OHMYGYASHHH
Open my own store
- I really REALLY want to open a store and sell merchandise with my art
- Since I was a little kid, I've always been making money by illustrating for my teachers or others. I just want it to be really official now and actually make money out of it and make a name out of it and be known all over the world!!! HAHA
Paint a Mural
- Since I was a little girl, I love love loveeee!!! seeing those murals posted on College and High School walls or streets while I am going to school. Sometimes, I would rather just walk everyday to see all of the murals and observe them everyday. Those murals inspired me so much! Their styles, the colors, everything! When I was in elementary, I told myself that I can't wait to go to High School and paint a mural, but then my HS have nothing, I got to design all of their bulletin and rooms and other stuff tho! hahaha but no mural... and HS in Cali, ain't like that too... so is college... lol SOMEDAY!!
Learn how to play the Piano and sing with it!
Learn how to make AMAZING PHOTOGRAPHY and VIDEOS
- So when I have capture every moment's beauty.
Spend a vacay at Boracay
- As a woman that is born, raised and errthang in Philippines, I have NEVER EVER been to Bora. It's my disneyland and I ALWAYS wanted to go.
Learn how to cook
- I can't cook to save my life!
Sponsor someone's Mission Trip ticket
- Ya know, not just to pay for them, but pay for someone who wants to go but can't go 'cuz of money. Mission Trips are so expensive and I pray that I can help for others to go and serve God wherever they want.
Sponsor someone's Retreat
- 'Cuz change happens in these events
Donate money in a foundation
Go to a Mission Trip
Share my testimony
Go hunting
See the northern lights
- I SO WANT TO SEEE!!!!!
To have an exhibit of my art
- You know where they're all posted in this place and there would be an event saying that it's my art and people would look around and some would buy heh
Ride a camel
Apply for Walt Disney Pictures, Cartoon Network and/or Nickelodeon.
- Just so I can tell myself that at least I tried :)
- It doesn't matter if I get accepted
- Though of course, it would really be a dream come true if I did!
Have a REALLY nice house.
- When I have my own house, I don't want it to look like a normal house. You know with normal white or brown paint and normal wooden furnitures and soft couches.
-If I'm going to have a house, I wanted my house to have a sense of creativity whenever people see them.
I want colors, and vibrant detailed things. I would also wanted to have a pool and a jacuzzi! with waterfalls!! :D
-There would also be a penthouse where you can open the roof and stargaze at night until you fall asleep<3
Have my own beach house
- You know, I always wanted to wake up with the sound of the waves and sleep with the view of the stars.
But, not really everyday, I want to go to my beach house whenever I just want to stay there and relax and have my vacay.
Make and fly an ACTUAL kite
- I always wanted to fly a kite. When I was a kid, I always try to make my own kites using our trash bags and sit on our window and let the wind carry it. Sometimes, I put ribbons on them to make them fancy lol!
Sleep under the stars
Completed: When Pot and I were little kids :)<3
Roast marshmallows in an open fire
Completed: Ate Colleen's beach party! :D<333
Fly first class/ business class
- I always wondered how would it be like to fly while being in that side of the plane. lol
Illustrate a children's book.
- Mr. Xiong made it come true when I was in 10th grade :)
Design completely my own room
- I never really had a room for myself, but once I moved to my own room in the near future, I wanted to completely see the things I like and make it COMPLETELY MINE. :)
Wish on a shooting star
Completed: Rob's goodbye party at Malibu :)<3
Be called as a REAL singer
- You know, it's okay if I'm not famous, I just want to have shows here and there and sing<3
Be a worship leader and a teacher
-When I was figuring out what I can do for Christ, since in HS I love being infront of the class and teach them with the stuff that I researched and do reports and everything why can't I do that to give greater information for other people.
-Also, I wanted to be used as a way for other people to experience God for who He is. The first time that I actually worship was AMAZING. Music makes a HUGE impact and I wanted to be used in that amazing experience.
Give my momma and siblings the life they deserve
Take Mama, Pot and Jed to Disneyland, California Adventures and Sea World
- I so wanted to let them see the World of Colors!! The first time I saw it, I cried because it was so beautiful and Pot can't get to see it. Before I die, I want them to see and experience the happiest place on earth!!
-Sea World! 'cuz I remember Pot always wanted to see a Tiger Shark, Whale Shark (I'm not sure if it's there hahahah just in case) and SHAMUMU!!!!! When he was a little boy. The first time I visited Sea World, I know Pot would love the place. I want to feel that he can have still live his amazing childhood no matter what age he is. I just want him to see him happy again.
Take Mama, Pot, Jed and Nikki to a Hillsong Concert
- All of us to worship and experience God together in that in that kind of level. OHMYGYASHHH
Open my own store
- I really REALLY want to open a store and sell merchandise with my art
- Since I was a little kid, I've always been making money by illustrating for my teachers or others. I just want it to be really official now and actually make money out of it and make a name out of it and be known all over the world!!! HAHA
Paint a Mural
- Since I was a little girl, I love love loveeee!!! seeing those murals posted on College and High School walls or streets while I am going to school. Sometimes, I would rather just walk everyday to see all of the murals and observe them everyday. Those murals inspired me so much! Their styles, the colors, everything! When I was in elementary, I told myself that I can't wait to go to High School and paint a mural, but then my HS have nothing, I got to design all of their bulletin and rooms and other stuff tho! hahaha but no mural... and HS in Cali, ain't like that too... so is college... lol SOMEDAY!!
Learn how to play the Piano and sing with it!
Learn how to make AMAZING PHOTOGRAPHY and VIDEOS
- So when I have capture every moment's beauty.
Spend a vacay at Boracay
- As a woman that is born, raised and errthang in Philippines, I have NEVER EVER been to Bora. It's my disneyland and I ALWAYS wanted to go.
Learn how to cook
- I can't cook to save my life!
Sponsor someone's Mission Trip ticket
- Ya know, not just to pay for them, but pay for someone who wants to go but can't go 'cuz of money. Mission Trips are so expensive and I pray that I can help for others to go and serve God wherever they want.
Sponsor someone's Retreat
- 'Cuz change happens in these events
Donate money in a foundation
Go to a Mission Trip
Share my testimony
Go hunting
See the northern lights
- I SO WANT TO SEEE!!!!!
To have an exhibit of my art
- You know where they're all posted in this place and there would be an event saying that it's my art and people would look around and some would buy heh
Ride a camel
Apply for Walt Disney Pictures, Cartoon Network and/or Nickelodeon.
- Just so I can tell myself that at least I tried :)
- It doesn't matter if I get accepted
- Though of course, it would really be a dream come true if I did!
Have a REALLY nice house.
- When I have my own house, I don't want it to look like a normal house. You know with normal white or brown paint and normal wooden furnitures and soft couches.
-If I'm going to have a house, I wanted my house to have a sense of creativity whenever people see them.
I want colors, and vibrant detailed things. I would also wanted to have a pool and a jacuzzi! with waterfalls!! :D
-There would also be a penthouse where you can open the roof and stargaze at night until you fall asleep<3
Have my own beach house
- You know, I always wanted to wake up with the sound of the waves and sleep with the view of the stars.
But, not really everyday, I want to go to my beach house whenever I just want to stay there and relax and have my vacay.
Make and fly an ACTUAL kite
- I always wanted to fly a kite. When I was a kid, I always try to make my own kites using our trash bags and sit on our window and let the wind carry it. Sometimes, I put ribbons on them to make them fancy lol!
Sleep under the stars
Fly first class/ business class
- I always wondered how would it be like to fly while being in that side of the plane. lol
- Mr. Xiong made it come true when I was in 10th grade :)
Design completely my own room
- I never really had a room for myself, but once I moved to my own room in the near future, I wanted to completely see the things I like and make it COMPLETELY MINE. :)
Completed: Rob's goodbye party at Malibu :)<3
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