Every single moment I just want to crey lol :/

I want to tell him every single detail and how frustrated I am about today that I missed the bus this morning TWICE. the first one and the second one and how stressed I am because of all the midterms that coming up and that I feel so fat...

I want to tell him how I almost missed my bus again after I got out of school and miss work

I just want to call him so bad after tito called me when I was in the library and found out that Yell couldn't sleep.... 

I am doing my VERY VERY BEST not to let each tear fall.

I look around while I am working, hoping that he would show up and order a bunch of fat stuff... lol
or maybe sit by the window and watch me work...

whenever work would be a little slow, I would think of those times when he was in line ordering and say "Mahal naman, mahal na mahal kita" lol and watch me while he waits for his order and I would kind of see him smile while I mess up lol.......

I'm so cool about me going home alone without him...
but when I was looking for rides, there was no more bus available and Alexa's feeling lazy and Tita Fe's busy............ I just want to call him, and use that as an excuse to see him...... but I don't want him to feel like I am using him for rides..........................................................

I'm a mess.

Then, I look at the syllabus and saw how spring break is coming up...
I have so many plans! and there's SO MUCH time to be with him.......

It's fine, I can just clean and draw the entire week LOL...................................

I wish I could be there telling him it would be okay...
I wish I could be there encouraging him while he's stressin' with his exams.

I want to call and tell him if can he pray for us?
If God would give us an okay you can date now.
and ask him to ask for my leaders blessings?

He would pray but I don't think he would ask my leaders.

I'm asking for too much already and I already hurt Yell.... a lot, a lot, a lot........................................

God, can't we just grow together?
Please T____________________T