Y

I guess I am still looking for what we had

I was looking for something that would replicate it, if not would exceed it.

I was looking for the same magic
I was looking for the same sense of home and safety
I was looking for the same feeling that makes me feel like I found something so rare

4 years.

I’m still at it.
I’m still here.

Still hoping to be okay
Still waiting for the day that no memory would ever affect me negatively




What if there is really just that one
What if you can never really love that much again

What if thats it
I had it and now its gone...








Well, I thought the same with Vin until Yell came...







This is stupid I am getting too old for this.











I’m tired of feeling crappy about this from time to time STILL.
Every now and then I just get a SWOOOOOSH of these







I don’t want this to haunt me anymore
I don’t want anything from my past to ever haunt me anymore


From Lola & Auntie
From the bullies at school
From my dad
From my maid
From VIN
From freakin YELL


Stupid Yell.



AND EVERY DARK AREA!





BUT ESPECIALLY YELL
THIS IS SO DUMB







4 freakin years of trying to be okay
I even wanna be single that didn’t work
I forced myself to date that didn’t work








I just want this to end








I just want to be okay whenever a memory resurface




I don’t want to carry this to my next relationship
If I would even get a next one -_____-











The one I really wanted dipped










My stuff freaked him out fa sho




Well! There goes a good guy passin me by cuz I was the way I am













kill me now #foreverdogmom