I need to get back on my game.

If I fall, we fall together.

What I noticed, is that... in this relationship, we are REALLY a team.
Both of us is accountable of each other.

If one is not close to God, the other could pull the other one down with them or help the other to get them back up.
Or, if the other one is not willing to obey or surrender, the other half will be affected and could be pulled down.

I thought I was strong, enough.
I though I can face the battles with a sword from Christ BUT used with my OWN strength.

I need to put my armor down.
I need to surrender and stop taking over and think that I can do everything on my own.

I should always remember that this is His fight not mine.

I need to come back and come to Him again, if FULL surrender.

God...
I don't know where to start but this is the only thing that I can think of that I can do.

This decision and commitment AGAIN to You...
That I will surrender, everything.

My future
My dreams
Rj, Mama, Jed, Papa...
My heart...

and Yell...
especially Yell...

I thought I was there,
I thought I surrendered everything that is needed to be surrendered...

but God...
take it again God...

I do want to have Your plan to take place in my life.
I want everything that is Yours.
I want everything that is about You.
I still want You God to consume me...

Empty me, O God...
So I can be filled by You.

I am ready for the pain.
Yes, there is some doubts and all in my heart.
I know You can see that and I'm not very proud of it.

but God...
Who am I to let someone like You go?
Who am I to ignore Your call...

I'm sorry God for how I've been...
I'm sorry God for where I've been...

I am ready for the pain from EACH surrender...
I am ready for the pain from Your discipline...

Do whatever it takes God...
So, I can be like You... more and more and more and more everyday.

I still love You and I don't want to cheat on You anymore.
I am getting weaker everyday... and  I am sorry for taking advantage of You...
I'm sorry...

I know I am not worthy to be Your servant...
but God, that's all I can be to be close to You.

I hope You can still forgive me and welcome me with Your warm embrace...
I'm so sorry God.................

Please forgive me :'(
I love You.