Dear Lord, I am done

Done with my pops

Done with my “friends”

I’ll be civil with the world and stop trying

God.

Family?

You said that I need one.

I mean this scene looks familiar...

Before you thats what I said about love, then I found overflowing love in You.

Well Lord... family.

I want a family.

I need a family.

I am tired of being an orphan.

Nakakapagod na maging palaboy

Nakakapagod na maging matapang

Family

How does that look like.

Dear Lord.

I try so hard.
I tried so hard.
I am trying so hard.

but thank you for letting me see what triggers me.

it was more than just feeling excluded, abandoned or ignored.

I mean it's still not okay, but Lord idk what to do...

Am I doing anything wrong?

I just want a family
I just want a home

paulit-ulit na lang



Nauna nung pinamigay ako ni mama
tapos knila Lola, nung sinimulan nila ko iwanan sa bahay kasi sampid lang ako
sampid na nde ko lang inisip, sampid na sinabihan talaga na sampid lang ako
pag nasa party either nasa tabi lang ako or lagi nakabukod na lamesa.

ang lamesa ng sampid, kasama nila yaya

tapos pag kasama ko mga pinsan ko lahat sila sosyal, and here I am
pinipilit ko na maging katulad nila habang hinuhusgahan ako
eh saan pa ba ko pupunta

tapos nung akala ko sila Nikki at Marvin na pamilya ko, na pati pamilya nila pamilya ko na din pero yan nanaman tayo. Joke time lang nanaman pla

tapos nung nakilala ko si papa na ikinakahiyang sabihin na anak ako pag nasa handaan
or if mai handaan, kasama man ni papa o si auntie
ako lagi ang nasa tabi, at kung napupuna, ako ang sampid at sakit sa ulo ng pamilya

tapos si Daryl naman, akala ko nanaman mai pamilya
akala ko nanaman totoo na
hanggang ng sa Yell made sure na alam ko na minahal lang nila ko lahat kasi kme
nde nila ko mamahalin nde ng dahil sa kanya, wag ako ilusyonada

tapos cross culture naman
AYAN NANAMAN ANG AKALA
UMASA NANAMAN AKO
tapos included lang pala ko kasi I work A LOT of them

tapos mga kabarkada ko ngayon, oh, I mean nuon.
sila Lui, Melvie, Jayro, Regina, Gail, Krystal, etc.
ISA NANAMANG MALAKING JOKE TIME

Sinabi ko na mali paghinalaan sila na ganun sila magisip hanggang naconfirm ni Melvie









Lord





I tried so hard.
I am so tired....









I mean, I'll still try I guess.













I just wanna know, am I doing anything wrong.











Its better to hide.











I mean I can't blame them.
They don't know.

They have their own lives.

Masyado lang ako clingy
Masyado mgexpect
Masyado magbigay
















You are more than enough Lord.






It's just I want an actual home and an actual family













I tried to be courageous.
I tried to RISE ABOVE.
I tried SO HARD.






God I am so scared
SO SO SO SO SO SCARED





But I am trying

















I'm tired of forcing myself in
I'm tired of feeling at home over and over just to find out na ako lang pala nagiisip ng ganun

Pa-ulit ulit na lang ngyayari saken toh Lord
Na lahat ng magaganda na naiisip ko one day kasinungalingan lang pala







Nakakapagod na








Nakakapagod pagdaana paulit ulit na akala mo okay ka na, nahanap mo na
joke time lang pala



















how can these be resolved Lord...








I am tired























You said that whatever destroyed me will heal me too





If family ruined me, it will heal me too


GOD.
where is family
what is family
how does it look like
how do I keep it
how do I maintain it











pagod na ko maging palaboy
sana kasing dali lang un ng "Oh! I like this place, I love these people." then you go through crap together then BAM! Fambam 4lyf!







I'm tired of being in a constant cycle na I find people, I love people, I go through things with people, I consider them as my people, then BAM!!! Joke time!!!! Ikaw lang nakakaalam na mahal ka nila at importante ka sa kanila.















God, idk.






I'm still gunna try.





I'm just saying I am so tired.
So so so so tired......
















I need a home.
I need a family.

I do need time

Man, look at me I am a WRECK

& I do have to let it die...

God did show me that we still have a lot of things to get done. I still need to heal A LOT of things, WITH GOD ONLY.

Where is the safe place.

Where is home.

You are my home Lord.

Where is family Lord...

I don’t know where family is...

I thought I found them dozen of times & I am just constantly thrown around. I do my best to make things right and I am so tired...

I am so tired feeling so disposable over and over and over and over again Lord.

I don’t know where to go

Some days I wanna die

Today is one of those days

Too much

I guess I will always be too much

aaand...

There was one who can handle the too much

There was one who wanted to stay forever

Even if I was super crazy

And my stupid ahh don’t wanna get with that

Here I am chasing a guy who doesn’t wanna deal with my extra self

He is not coming back

He’s decided

It costs too much to be with me

I am too crazy

Nobody wants us to be together

Odds are not in our favor

I have too much

It costs too much

I think he will come to the conclusion that its not worth it

I know he said that we should leave it open ended

But I am ending it

At some point

Soon.

I wanna end it today

But idk

Cuz I know myself

Once I make a decision I am gone forever

But I don’t want to put it on the side anymore

I wanna kill it

I don’t want him to have something to hold on to

I don’t wanna go where he decides to go

Okay.

Tonight let’s say that I am 98% declaring that I will do my best to kill it

And stop hoping for it

And he will be forever that friend that I was interested in that never happened

I hate everyone and I wanna die

Will be cutting some people off soon

Possibly more than half of my “friends”

Who can I keep...

I am keeping:
Jerona
Mick
Rosemary
Gilbert
Manny
Krystal**
Alexa**



I never needed plenty of friends I need to weed out people.
I was always the 2-3 friends kinda gal


I hate everyone
I hate everything

Lord I wanna die

Nde na babalik yun

I’m sure he is counting the costs
I’m sure he overly analyzed everything

And I have a great feeling that he will come into a conclusion that it’s not worth it


Unang-una ang gulo-gulo
Sa mga kaibigan
Sa kai B
Tas ako pa, parang tanga
Tas iniisp pa nia isa akong sinungaling
Tas iniisp nun immature ako
Tas baka inisip din nun napaka taray ko sa tao

It costs too much...

WELL, nde pa naman tamang oras LOL
pero ewan...

God said that the wait will reveal the true intentions of the heart



But idk, I’m okay with the wait...
It’s just feeling ko lang talaga nde na xa babalik Lord..



Well Lord kasi, parang kahit saan angulo tignan magulo at sa side nia nde ako siguro ano mukhang worth it na ipaglaban.



Sa mata nia feeling ko...
Narealize nia na andami ko pala problema
Tas baka mukha ako manloloko
Tas ang taray taray ko pa
Tas kadikit ng kinabukasan saken, resentment kai Brian tas pati kai Melvs naman siguro tas siguro si Lui din.

Nako isa pa un.... ang friends ko na minahal ko
ANYWAYS LORD THATS A DIFFERENT STORY




Ang gaga ko kasi








Bwiset




Well, he values his friends.
He loves his friends
His friends loves him

And ako, I’m just a girl that he’s interested in.
Well, was interested in.








Sa mga ngyayari, does he even care.













Bilang kaibigan siguro I am not the best kaya madali lang ako itchapwerahin










As for me...










maybe it didn’t cost too much for me to be with him
It will be more of a gain






Well, feeling ko mai pagkaselfish xa minsan
Minsan nahihirapan xa makita sarili nia na xa din mai problema
Dadating din dun pero aabutin ng 10 years

Aaandd.... I think na baka parang sila din xa
Kasi as a friend I love him A LOT
I really considered him as the one of people I hold dear in my heart

Silang dalawa ni Lui


Jowable o nde lol minahal ko na sila ng sobra


Pero.... I don’t think they see me the same kahit sa ganun na level








I mean sa ngayon, sobrang thankful ako sa singleness ko
















& wala ako friends na mawawala so ano naman cost nun for me






& ung mga bagay na iimbyerna ako sa kanya okay lang naman saken,
parte naman ng pagkatao nia un


























anyways, sa dulo ng lahat masaya naman ako sa singleness ko ngayon at sobrang kailangan ko xa.
kung babalik xa NGAYON, malamang magpapaextend ako ng pagkasingle kasi andami ko pa kakainin at gustong ayusin at tahakin














It's just I don't think na babalik pa xa.















I mean who knows pero sa mga probability
naiisip ko nasa 80/100 chances tayo na nde xa babalik



















gusto ko tumuloy umasa pero wag na lang
kasi mejo naiimbyerna na din ako sa gulo





I mean worth it naman xa
kya lang ang gulo eh...













& madami pa kelangan gawin, and parang eto na ang last thing sa agenda ko.

























Next year pagkagraduate ko, iniisp ko na sana sumubok kme ulit
Pero, mukhang malabo na mgyari un






















Sya na
Sya na ang kwento ng aking naudlot na istorya lol








Ang aking ALMOST lol

SIDE BAR

I still don't regret losing B even with all of these drama

I know this would happen
& I say worth it, any day.











kung mai IBA jan na magchichismisan








Kung mawala si B at magunaw ang mundo dahil iniwan ko xa
WORTH. IT.












Kung di dahil dun, nde ko malalaman na madami pala ko true friends
At sa mga tanga na nde naintindihan ang statement ko
sarcastic po iyon, bow.

2018, the year I saved money on Christmas gifts & bday gifts

This got some great advantages.

idk what you are doing Lord but tbh people wise, I am honestly hating them more
LOL
Encourages me to be an oyster for the rest of my life more than anything

God, should I even try.
I look desperate
I feel desperate

I am good by myself
I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN GOOD ALONE

I don't need PEOPLE

LORD

ESPECIALLY
F A K E
PEOPLE

I don't wanna go back to that angry MaiQs that's down to kill anyone











"love anyways, love regardless, love always"














I want to have a cutting off spree
















Idk Lord, I am letting my guard from fear down, cuz you said that's not the right way to love people and I should not operate in fear.

"BE MADE PERFECT IN LOVE"








































I am tired of feeling disposable Lord.
I am tired of feeling like a garbage can.












Something that people use when they need to put some crap in
Something that people throw once they are done with it






















I wanna go back to shutting people off
& just be kind to them
& be caring to them









& not let anyone get to me
IN A GOOD OR BAD WAY






















I just want to be in a place where I belong
I place where I can breathe Lord


I just want people I can run with









You know a place that I can let my hair down
People that won't dispose me if I ever did anything stupid

















hmm, maybe I should just cut everyone off and just start new.








idk Lord.

Would I be part of a clique?

I feel like my friends always have cliques.

And I am in NONE OF THEM

I mean I guess its okay but Lord its been very sad and lonely
And it looks like there is something wrong with me

Do I have friends?

The people who I thought were friends doesn’t even think of me as a friend.

I don’t know Lord.













I hate people. 😑

SO THANKFUL

LORD

THANK YOU!

I am SO SO SO THANKFUL for this season

Lord, thank You for this place where I can throw up LOL & thank You for listening to all of that.
Thank You for being so constant in my life.
Thank You Lord for LOVING ME, SO MUCH!

It's crazy

Thank You Lord that the pattern ended with Jay.
Thank You for doing this Lord

& I am SO THANKFUL that Jay listens to You
God, I am SO THANKFUL na we didn't move forward

Whatever reason Jay have, I AM THANKFUL.

I needed this time SO MUCH



Thank You for letting me re-read everything over the years Lord.
Sa journey ko kai Yell, Troie, Philip tas B.

Namuntikan na si Jay lol.



Lahat ng sakit galing kai Marvin pati Yell.
Lahat ng sakit galing kai Mama, Papa, Nikki, Marvin pati Yell.




Nakita ko na, ni minsan nde ko sila naproseso
Ni minsan nde sila na-heal
Natakpan lang ng paulit-ulit

LORD, salamat sa time na toh
with You :)




Madami pa ko kakainin lol



Lord, salamat for placing my passions in the right places
salamat sa lahat
salamat sa pagmamahal Lord






Thank You for reviving everything that died in me
& kahit ano man kinalabasan LORD, SOBRANG THANK YOU KAI JAY.

















I am still interested in him Jesus BUT LOL
LETS GET TO BUSINESS FIRST OF COURSE








WAH, andami pa natin gagawin together as a TEAM LORD!
Look at us <3

Jesus



I love You :)
Thank You for everything and for always holding my hand through it all.



I love You Lord
I love You
I love You
I love You :)

MaiQui’s Island

Where people visit and enjoy till next time
Where people take as much as they want till supplies last
Where people excuse themselves till renovation is over



















What a beautiful island it is!
MaiQui’s Island.

Lowkey

I am kinda hoping you won’t let go
I am kinda hoping that you wanna hold on and hope that we’ll get back together


Even if I am letting it die & wanna let go


I mean I don’t want to, it’s just its not something I know that God doesn’t want me to focus on in this season. Wah, God is revealing crazy things and assignments in this season its insane.

I am aware that nothing is ready and God is growing me in to maturity from surrender and truly taking me into the journey so we can do crazy big dreams and make them happen!



I know that being in a relationship is the last thing in the agenda rn
Its not even in the agenda more than anything lol





I am just saying...
I wanna just say it









I am glad that we are friendly :)










I don’t know if you are still around
I know that I am still obvious lol 🙄 I know that for a fact! Even if I am trying to hide it. I hope he stays oblivious and not notice that I am still in to him lol













Lord he still takes my breath away
He is so handsome lol
He is so cute


Shskajshskjshd SHHHHH






but yeah.
I know.








He also said that he doesn’t want me to be distracted from what God is doing in my life right now and us is not the focus of his season rn too














I just hope that he doesn’t leave










But God said
IF it is resurrected,
IF
that is IF it is.

Thats the time that I will know that its from him.
Because nothing that dies for Christ can’t be revived.
Nothing that is from the Lord can be lost.
















As for my friends.
AAAAAAAAAHHH DONT KNOW LAWRD










Jesus take THA WHEEL.

So Lord, xa na ang biktima

xa na ANG KINAKAAWAAN
xa na ANG KINAKAIBIGAN
xa na ANG MABUTING TAO
XA NA ANG MUSMOS






I remember napagdaanan ko to when I first broke up with him.
STUPID
xa na lang ang kinakaibigan at ako na lang ang laging tinataboy


xa pa makangawa at magsabi na wala xa kaibigan
bwiset xa







LORD PANO KO

Lord, I WANT FRIENDS

Lord, I need friends

Genuine friends

Am I hard to get along with
Am I unpleasant to have around

Ano ba pagkukulang ko

Hi, I am MaiQui
ang babaeng isla

Bow.














Isa akong gamit









Pinupulot pag kailangan
Tinatapon pag napagsawaan














Istorya ng maganda kong buhay

















Lord :(

Dear Lord, I want friends

Actually

I need friends

Lord, I feel so alone...

I know you said that I need community, bla bla

Idk Lord I feel like community doesn’t like me


Lol



Freals...........












I’m tired of being left behind
I need a true friend
I want a true friend Lord



Kahit isa lang, ung malapit
Ung nahahawakan nde un naiinstagram message lol


Ang layo kasi ni Nikki eh




God namimiss ko na ung madami na friends







Sila Melvie, Lui, Jayro ung ganun


Kalimutan na na mai drama drama
Miss ko na friends ko







Masaklap lang isipin, feeling ko tingin nila nde ako isa sa kanila





Heto nanaman ako
Nagmamahal ng friends magisa at malayo habang tingin nila saken ay wala lang

















Ang buhay Layaoen
Bow

Cross Culture

You know what Lord.

Naisip ko lang lahat ng namimiss ko... nasa Cross Culture nuon.

Well nde na ko bblik, kasi kahit bblik nman ako wala na ganun dun eh, panay pulitika na

But u kno...

Namimiss ko na mai worship community

Friends na masaya

Friends na FAMILY talaga

Church na home tlaga

People na love na love talaga si Lord and isat isa

Lord I miss everything

I miss ung people

Ung community 

Ung tawanan

Ung lokohan

Ung sharing ng feelings about You

Share ng mga pinagdadaanan for You

God we all had it sa Cross Culture

Alam mo un ung home...

I miss my friends

I miss moments with my friends

I miss everyone

Gusto ko ulit ng ganun Lord...

Nakakalungkot

Alam mo un iisipin mo na sila ung people mo

Tas iniisp nila na baka nde ka naman nila people

Saklap

Torn ako between maging hermit ulit habang buhay

O bare myself out there again and apak apakan ulit na parang ipis

Jk, I LOVE my friends

My friends are amazing and super duper amazing
Kalma kalma lang sa insecurities minsan LOL

I wish I was more confident

so when friends don’t invite me to things, I don’t feel small
and think that they don’t think that I am a friend


Maybe they really don’t and just always think of themselves

Maybe its just me cuz I really got no friends

How dare Jay say that its weird that I hang with Gail.
Nigguh she mah friend before she yo friend
Don’t mean u don’t see us hang we ain’t friends

We don’t hang CUZ I DONT HANG WITH NOBODY


Nung sinabi nia un grabe
FEEL NA FEEL KO ANG TIBAY NG FRIENDSHIP


WAW I LOVE PEOPLE 🙄






I don’t know Lord
Minsan kasi feeling ko friends na friends ko sila
Tas joke time lang ako for them idk...
Basura, jk siguro
Isang bagay na nakakaaliw tas pag nde na kailangan put aside na lang


Maybe its okay for others na nde maimbitahan
like nbd sa knila kasi masaya naman sila sa buhay

Confident sila sa lugar nila sa mundo






Lord parang gusto ko ulit mapagisa lol
Alam mo nakikita ko na ang hilig ko maging busy kasi para pag nde ako maisama anywhere at least masasabi ko sa sarili ko na “ah, nde ako tinawagan kasi alam nila na madami ako ginagawa. Care lang sila for me, ayaw ako istorbohin”




Mga bilyon ko na ginagawa ay naging isang malaking security blanket.
Ang galing ko..... -_______-







Pero alam mo Lord.
Kahit gus2ng gusto ko mapalibutan ulit ng friends, parang....... lol ETO NANAMAN TAYO LOL
natatakot nanaman si ahhhh teeeeh LOL







But seriously Lord




Pag nagiisa ako at least msasabi ko na, choice ko mapagisa. Lumayo sila tas nde ako piliin, okay lang ginusto ko magisa









Pero pag mai friends Lord
Aasa ka
Bbgyan mo sila ng mga pagkakataon

Tas BOOM




WASAK NANAMAN













are they even worth it





Ugh LORD
HOW DAREEEE UUU LOL



UGH




















“For me they’re worth it” 🙄












WHAT ABOUT ME LORD

alam mo naman si Ate Moira, puntak nanaman lol

Pasensya na, kung papatulugin na muna
Ang pusong napagod kakahintay
Kaya sa natitirang segundong kayakap ka
Maaari bang magkunwaring akin ka pa

Mangangarap hanggang sa pagbalik
Mangangarap pa rin kahit masakit

Baka sakaling makita kitang muli
Pagsikat ng araw, paglipas ng gabi
Kung di pipilitin ang di pa para sa'kin
Baka sakaling maibalik

Malaya ka na, Malaya

Isusuko na ang sandata aatras na sa laban
Di dahil naduduwag kundi dahil mahal kita
Mahirap nang labanan mga espada ng orasan
Kung pipilitin pa, lalo lang masasaktan

Mangangarap hanggang sa pagbalik
Mangangarap pa rin kahit masakit

Baka sakaling makita kitang muli
Pagsikat ng araw, paglipas ng gabi
Kung di pipilitin ang di pa para sa'kin
Baka sakaling maibalik

Malaya ka na, Malaya

ALEX KAREV

I AM FREAKIN ALEX KAREV

ALWAYS RUIN THE GOOD THINGS THAT COMES MY WAY
ALWAYS SELF SABOTAGING
ALWAYS PUNCHING MY EMOTIONS AWAY

AT THIS MOMENT

I hate me.


















God, I need You. :'(

I guess I’ll move on instead

I won’t wait
I won’t try
I won’t fight

I’ll just let go and move on

















Add that to my archive of talents
“Ruin great & wonderful things before they even start”














I want you more than anything
I want to try with everything I have
I want to fight the best that I can










At least life was full of butterflies, unicorns and rainbows for a bit.
At least I saw rainbows with a pot of gold in very corner for a month or so










I’ll let go of the idea that someday I would have this amazing future with you as more than just my friend. I’ll just embrace that you are my forever Kuya.













Starting today, I am moving on and letting go of all the might have been and could have been. I am letting go of all the hope that our time will come.



































Bbye.
It’s been really really good while it lasted.

Gusto ko xa ipaglabaaaaan

wah Lord

siguro, ipaglaban in a way na...

pagdadasal ko xa ng sobra para makamit nia pangarap nia

paglalaban in a way na aayusin ko sarili ko para maayos lahat
para simula namin maganda at maayos

nde magulo
nde tulad ng ngayon...





Pero Lord, paglalaban ko talaga xa kung kailangan
Kahit anung laban kahit mawatak ako ulit
Kahit ako lang lalaban sa una ng todo
Game ako






Pero Lord kung gusto mo ako kumalma
Kakalma ako







Feeling ko sinasabi mo saken na kumalma ko lol
Kakalma na lang ako at magdadasal.











I know how You hear all my prayers
I know that You know what is BEST
I know that You are for me
I know You never withhold anything that is good and will give You glory













I’ll trust You Lord



















Ayaw ko lang xa mawala...
Bago pa kme magsimula

Tatanggapin ko na lang

I don’t know

Agad-agad na ba ko susuko

I mean, nde naman ako sumusuko.

I prayed.

I’ve been praying HARD & God’s been telling me to trust Him.

So, susuko ko na lang xa...
Pati ung hope na mai pag-asa pa kme someday

I blew it

I’ll literally fix my eyes on Jesus na & I’ll stop thinking about this

and us

and our future

I MEAN

I’LL TRY...




Pag pinagswitch ko naman kme ng places, magagalit din naman ako eh...
Mapapaisip din ako kung gusto ko talaga toh



Naiintindihan ko naman.



Kahit naman ako kahit gusto na gusto ko, sobra.
Nde nman tamang oras
Tas ang gulo-gulo
Tas ang dami pa kailangan isipin at tapusin



Nde pa nga talaga tamang oras



Pero nde na ko maghihintay


I’ll give up na din sa hope na babalik ka...


Ang bilis.

















Pero at least masaya & alam ko na anjan ka padin na bilang Kuya ko lol


























😕













Bye

I just screw everything up

I finally found the one I want to risk everything to

Then BOOM

Way to go Qui
——

God,

Mejo imposible siguro, pero gusto ko parin umasa na papatawarin nia ko tas babalik xa...
Pero baka suntok na lang sa bwan na un.

Actually, sana ng-overthink lang ako

Ugh

Ang messy kasi
Ang messy messy ng situation

Lahat dahil sa mga kagagahan ko

Una, kasi nde ako nakinig sayo & nde ko agad agad iniwan si Brian kahit ayaw na ayaw ko na sa kanya.

Pangalawa, ANG LANDI KO PA, pinatulan ko pa ka-close nia

PANGATLO, 😑 ginawa ko pa un pa extra cherry on the top sa mga kaguluhan

At nde lang un!!!
Agad agad ko pa nilapitan kahit kakahiwalay ko lang kai ano

MAGALING

ISA AKONG WISE NA BATA

SOBRANG WISE

GREAT JOB QUI

GREAT JOB







kaya ayan eh, single ka na poreber ang galing mo kasi

Beyond Reasons

Hay Lord lol

Eto nanaman ako mga kilig spaz ng anak mo lol
Blogger ko naging boy vent ko sayo through the years hahahahah

Anyways Lord, makakwento lang lol

Kasi kinikilig nanamen eng enek me LOL

Alam mo un Lord, akala ko nde na ko ulit magmamahal ng ganito
Akala ko tapus na wala na ko pagasa hahahha suko na ko

Pero heto ako

Too soon ba?

Hmmm, tayo tayo lang naman nakakaalam

Feels lng ng world crush ko xa hahahhahahahah

Pero Lord alam mo ba, uo alam ko alam mo na actually pero sasabihin ko na din

Nde dapat maingat ako
Pero ala lang

Sa bawat araw na mas nakikilala ko xa
Mas lalo ko xa minamahal

Hahahahahhahahah mahal AGAD

ano nga ba ang pagmamahal maliban sayo Lord

Naexcite ako sa araw na titignan ko xa sa mga mata at sabihin na
Mahal ko xa beyond sa lahat ng mga rason na nakabalot kung bakit ko xa minahal hahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahahahhahaha ang korni at landi ko grabe


Nde nde sabi kasi isa sa pagdiskubre if its right to feel this way is to find the reason why I like him

Okay, lets analyze.

Si Marvin, sinabi ko mahal ko xa kasi inalagaan nia ko nung walang ngmahal saken
Si Daryl, ang pangarap ko
Si Brian, nde ko naman minahal un (uo nde fair)

Si Jay, ANG PANALANGIN KO
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

Hmmmm,
-Gusto ko ung heart nia sobra para sayo & sa mga tao
He cares a lot kahit ano pa sabihin nia na wala sa pake
Sobra din xa magmahal akala lng nia nde
-Gusto ko ung nagaminan kme, nde nia ko agad agad sinunggaban
-Gusto ko din na pag kasama ko xa ang saya saya ko kasi kumportable ako sobra
-Gusto ko din na kasama xa kasi at home na at home ako sa kanya
-Gusto ko na mahilig xa magisip, isa xang matalino at mapagmahal na tao
-COURAGEOUS XA! Na feeling ko ako din kaya ko maging matapang!
-Nde ako natatakot mahalin xa

Okay ngayon naman...
Bakit ko gusto ung mga un...

Hmmm, natutuwa ako na nararamdaman ko lahat ng safe na feeling, masaya anun kasi buong buhay ko takot ako na bata na nagmumukmok

Tapos, match nia lahat ng hinahanap ko

Tapos, parang more na napapalapit ako sa kanya, more ako naffeel na unaayos lahat
Nde ng kasi mai ginagawa xa, kasi naiinspire ako sa kanya, sa buhay nia at sa heart nia

Parang kaya ko lahat & lagi nia ko nililihis kai Lord ng nde sapilitan


WALA WALANG MALI

ETO NA YON PAPAKASALAN KO NA YAN HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH
Nde kalma lang

LOL

okay bai Lord nasigaw ko na lahat ahahhahaha

Pero above all ng mga dahilan
mahal ko xa kasi mahal ko xa

SALAMAT LORD AT NADADAMA KO LAHAT TOH HAHA

HE IS SOOOOOO AMAZING

HE IS SO PERFECT LOL

OKAY BAI

I miss him

LOL

but I am busy and I need to focus on Jesus lol
I am just saying that I miss him

I was just kinda hoping he would AT LEAST say hi u kno but whatever

We are just friends right now and focusing on Jesus and setting some foundation
I am just saying that I miss him

I need to pray lol

WAH

Lol

I am excited to tell the world that he my man LOL
And tell him random things from mi harts por him LOL
And do things por him

BUT U KNO

Do not awaken love till the time is right ❤️

I am just saying

I miss him but I am all in for the wait to make it all right

I know for sure that its not time yet but I am confident that it will get there

NAKS TALAGA NAMAN WOO LOLOLOLOL

The more I wait, the more I love him
WAW LOVE AGAD

Well, I always loved him A LOT as my brother
Its just now u kno lol

I love him more each day and the funny thing is

I am not scared of the feeling
I am not afraid of the risks
I am not afraid of being destroyed & exposing my all again

The wait doesn’t feel like a drag
It doesn’t feel awkward

Its needed
And I am happy everything is this way

I am just saying that I am excited when it comes

Everything doesn’t feel forced or pretentious or naive

It feels genuine

And I am very very happy

LORD

salamat sa season na toh
salamat sa lahat

Feel na feel kung gano mo ko kamahal

salamat sa lahat Lord

I’ll stay put, I’ll keep pursuing You
I’ll stay on fixing my gaze on You

I just wanna release some feels that I miss him
But I will take Your lead and I am SO HAPPY how he leads me to You too and how he leads everything.

Haaaaaaay Lord 😍

LOOOOOORD 😍💕

Tagpuan

Di, di ko inakalang
Darating din sa akin
Nung ako'y nanalangin kay Bathala
Naubusan ng bakit

Bakit umalis nang walang sabi?
Bakit 'di siya lumaban kahit konti?
Bakit 'di maitama ang tadhana?

At nakita kita sa tagpuan ni Bathala
May kinang sa mata na di maintindihan
Tumingin kung saan sinubukan kong lumisan
At tumigil ang mundo
Nung ako'y ituro mo
Siya ang panalangin ko

At hindi di mapaliwanag
Ang nangyari sa akin
Saksi ang lahat ng tala
Sa iyong panalangin

Pano nasagot lahat ng bakit?
Di makapaniwala sa nangyari
Pano mo naitama ang tadhana?

Nung nakita kita sa tagpuan ni Bathala
May kinang sa mata na di maintindihan
Tumingin kung saan sinubukan kong lumisan
At tumigil ang mundo
Nung ako'y ituro mo
At hindi ka lumayo
Nung ako yung sumusuko
At nagbago ang mundo
Nung ako'y pinaglaban mo
At tumigil ang mundo
Nung ako'y pinili mo
Siya ang panalangin ko

Word per word <3 Ate Moira, natumpak mo. Haaaay Lord, ang saya ko. Ang blessed ko, ang saya saya ko Lord. Parang lahat tama. Lord, he’s right, tama na ganun dapat dasal ko na Lord please be my guide too inthis season on what I should do and where I should go and how I should do it. There is a time for everything and Lord I want everything with your stamp of approval. Hold my heart and everything thats in it, show me how to steward everything right. I love You too Lord.

Things are slowly making sense, everything feels so right & sana lahat ng susunod na mga hakbang maging tama for You. God, gabayan mo po sana xa sa pagaaral nia sa lisensya nia Lord. Ako naman sa school at trabaho at AMA. Excited na ko sa tamang panahon pero kahit gano katagal maghintay okay lang, we want to make everything right for You Lord. I love You God and we love You and I feel so loved by You in this season Lord.

I feel so loved na nakakaiyak na lol
Salamat Lord for everything

Lord, pramis feel na feel ko lol na xa ang panalangin ko hahaha 😭😍

Is it worth it?

parang andaming drama lol

Jk, I don’t have to think about it

He is worth it :)

Super worth it :)

korni rant of the day

For the longest time, I cringe whenever I hear love songs.
I get angry when I hear them & I just wanna turn off the radio and turn to Jesus lol cuz it annoys me so much that love songs makes me feel everything that I am terrified to feel

Recently, I’ve been listening to them and all I feel is pure swoon hahah
I haven’t felt like this in the looooongest time

Love songs feels good now
Love songs feels nice and beautiful

I am slightly scared but with you I am willing to take the risk

I can’t wait till I can say all these too you

But I need to be patient to set a strong foundation for us & naisip ko na if forever ka naman, edi I will have the rest of my life with you. What’s with a little wait to set up the best things to come.

J

Wah, Lord!

I mean, I need to let this out somehow lol I don’t wanna be that annoying friend that keeps on talking about this boy lol

I am crazy about this man lol

He makes me happy
Parang lahat na lang no boys ko sa buhay  problema pero nung kasama ko xa ang saya ko 😍😍😍

Seeing his face brightens my day
Parang gumaan lahat
I hope I have the same effect on him

Ugh Lord, I wanna spend more time with him and get to know him and help him as lahat ng happenings sa life nia na gives him stress

But gotta make this one right, I am coming after you Lord and I present my desire to you for Jayro and you do what you have to do.

It’s just Lord, just kno lol na kilig ako sa kanya lol

(Ang landi ko) LOL

Lord, remember before I was telling you na I wish someone would say that they like me not because I am pretty, funny, smart, talented, etc. You know say the usual likable things about me, but you know Jayro is the only one na thinks na kabaliwan ko is cute. Tas he lets me play and be myself. I can be myself. I am comfortable around him and it feels nice.

Lord lol I know we need to come to you first but I just wanna say na it would be nice if I can move forward with Jayro. He makes me smile like this ^________________________^

Alam mo yun, consistent xa lol all these years. Grabe kilig ako

Ahhhh Lord, then Filipino Chinese din xa like sa kinalakihan ko
Ambitious, LOVE LOVE LOVES JESUS, family oriented, super humble, hardworking, passionate, loyal, tall tas have this face that brightens every night sky. Lol ako na korni lol

Ugh, I hope I don’t overwhelm him. Super excited lang ako lol
Kalma lang lol

April or May pala kmi ngbreak ni Brian.

EDI OKAY NA

3 months! Okay okay, it’s not the days. It’s when we are ready.

I still have school to finish, family to worry about, AMA to lead and new full time job to nail. I also need an internship lol

Jayro needs to pass his exams, fix his house, figure out what will happen with his life, figure out where he belongs and many more

Wah, I know I am excited but I don’t wanna rush into things. This time not because I am scared but because I want to do this right.

When I start dating Jayro, I want him to be the one. :)

I don't think it's the traumas anymore

I think, I am just not happy with you.
Sorry for wasting your time.

Now idk how to say this.

I thought it was a good idea to force myself.
Yell told me before that you have to force yourself to like someone then you will be okay.

Why did I even take a worldly man's advice. -_____-

Welp.

I forced myself and everything is forced.

Nobody loved me as much as you did, but idk.
I am just not happy with you.

I am sorry that I allowed you to shower me the world plus more.

I mean, I still wanna get married u kno.

Just not with you...