I think I am over it.

And I will stay over it.

Yeah.

I am not a user like Daryl.

At least I caught myself.

I do like B, A LOT.

But I don't think its fair for him and respectful for him, if I just jump into things especially I just broke up with Daryl.

I am not that thirsty like Daryl.
And I am not desperate for a companion like him.

I have better things to focus on.
I have much more important things to think of.

I will not use B to make me feel happy.
Although he does

But I want the Lord first, to satisfy me COMPLETELY.

Not satisfy me, WHILE I am with someone and my heart and attention is divided with someone.

I want God to be my boyfriend and the reason why I am happy and the one I turn to when I am sad or stressed or whatever.

I want God to be my everything.

And if I do this, I don't want to be like Daryl.

I don't want to be a user and be shallow and immature and have no self-control like him.

I don't want to look thirsty and be thirsty like him.

And Brian deserves a woman who is not broken. I still need a lot of healing.

Hurt people, hurt people.

I will continue to tell myself that Brian is nothing.

I need to kill what we started.
I need to kill whatever grew.

Its over and done.

I don't need this.
Its too soon.

I am not as desperate as him.
I respect the people around me.
And I am not driven by emotions.

I am not thirsty and immature and a user like Daryl.