My heartttttt

Okay B, today I'm not gunna lie I am KILIG TO DA BONEZ.

AND I AM SCAAAAAARED

CUZ I AM BORDERLINE SEEING YOU AS A PHASE TO SOMEONE I ACTUALLY WOULD FALL IN LOVE WITH AND ITS TERRIFYING.

Terrifying because the Lord said we are both not ready.
Terrifying because we both have responsibilities in His kingdom now.

AND YOU B.

I am so scared for you too!!
I am scared for your ministry.
I am scared for your walk.

Lord!! I am so weak still!

I am scared!!

If Brian have off days and he got weak, I am scared because I am depending on his strength....... And commitment and obedience to You...

I KNOW I KNOW GOD
Its wrong to depend on his strength to keep us obedient.

But what I learned from Christian dating is that the man always always always always lead the girl.

That's why I was confident with Brian.

But today Goddddd

GOOOOOOOODDDDDDD

PLEASE GUARD OUR HEARTS.

DO WHATEVER U CAN TO KEEP US FROM SLIPPING.

I am scared 'cuz You didn't say if we are for each other and whoever that is not GB that I am going to fall for will always lead to destruction and I don't want that for both of us

And we both know that our relationship with You is the most important relationship that both of us is going to have.

But our flesh God...
Our desires...

I am starting to get attached to him.
I am starting to get used to him.
I am starting to like him more and more.

Today, and yesterday I felt that he let his guards down too... Idk for some reason maybe because he is worried about his dad and he just wants to be okay. I don't know.

Yesterday, he was next very sweet to me.
Yesterday he got me food.
Yesterday we were next to each other most of the time.

Today.
He surprised visit me at my house during his work time before he go to the courthouse.
He visited me and ate at Woodranch.
Aaaand omg.
I thought we were gunna kiss today omg
PRAISE GOD IT DIDN'T HAPPEN.

Omg, I am SO SCARED.

GOD I DONT WANT TO FEEL YOUR WRATH ANYMORE. I DONT WANT TO HURT.

Please protect Brian and I.
You know our deepest desire is You alone God.
Please don't let our flesh take over us...
Please God please.

I am terrified....