"Do you have any physical attraction with him?"

Okay, I am literally having an emotional roller coaster lol

But whatever

Alexa asked me this and you know...
I am so happy that he is so different & we are so different.

Like, Daryl and I needed to have a mediator or we struggle being alone because of sex.

But Brian and I we don't do one on ones because we are guarding our hearts.

& that actually never came across my mind until Alexa brought it up today.

& when I see him, I don't long to touch him.
I don't want to be all over him.
Yah, it would be a plus hahah
But not so much plus

It's all the heart.
All the relationship with the Lord

& I don't see him that way at all

I don't want to go with the flow and let my heart and emotions take over me. I am the master of my emotions and I will guard it.

Brian and I are still very vulnerable...

But comparing it to all the past ones I had
Ugh we are just friends!

But whatever
Comparing to every single man I liked or been with or whatever

This is different
Maybe because the Lord is here and our main focus is Him

And He is stronger than I am

His heart.
I swear is what making me swoon lol

I don't care if he is short LOL
I don't care if he is fat
I don't care if he is not creative

Those are worldly standards that will fade

His heart for the Lord is very encouraging

What I like that I am getting out from this is that I feel that I am running faster that I thought I was when I spend time with him

Its just we are in a sensitive spot rn 'cuz we are not ready for anything

But GB or not, I love how he cares so much about my walk too...

& for me really being that woman that the Lord created me to be.

& doing his best to lead me to the Lord and not to himself and not to the world

Maybe that is his Kuya side

But either way

I am glad
And I am 100% not lusting over B

As corny as it might sound LOL
But I feel the most intimate with him when we talk about the Lord.

It's like talking about the Man we love the most.

I need to put more guard.
Just as he said.

We need to put more
For the Lord

& I might not see him as often anymore

Launching na Spanish BS next week and he is going to be very busy writing his teachings and praying for A LOT of people.

He won't be able to hang Wednesdays anymore while worship team practice and while we work on multimedia

He won't be able to hang PN

After bible study fellowship too

Sunday too

Awhhhhhhhhh

PASTOR BRIAN :'D hahahahhhh

And his QT's are gunna be extra longer now
He is going to start praying for A LOT MORE people

Ahhhh I need to take care of things too and be careful....

Just like what everyone is telling me

He is already a leader and I am starting to serve again. We need to be very careful not to make each other stumble or it would be very bad for ALL of our ministries.

FOCUS ON THE KING.