Lord, I don't know how to trust anyone again.

I can't breathe...
I'm shaking...
I feel cold...

I feel weak...
I feel like collapsing....

I thought I was over it.
I thought I moved on......

I thought I am okay.
I thought I was stronger.
I thought it will never affect me anymore...

God, I don't know how to trust ANYONE anymore....
I'm scared to give any chances again to anyone....

God I am scared.......
I am really scared to let anyone in......

God...
His betrayal...
Ruined my outlook on love...
Ruined how I see relationships...
Any type of relationships...

Would I ever find COMPLETE peace God...

Can you just let a car hit my head and let me have amnesia...

I don't know how to get over this...

I don't wanna think about it anymore.
I don't wanna remember.
I don't wanna love him anymore.

God please make it all go away..........

I want to trust again...
I want to give people chances.....

But I don't think I can ever do that anymore God. I'm scared. I'm hurt. I'm betrayed.

I don't want to remember.
I don't want to think about it.

God...

I don't want to care anymore.
I don't want to hope anymore.
I don't want to feel anymore...

Please make it go all go away God
Please..................
Please God....

Make it overnight if you can

I don't wanna go through that drinking and cutting stage again. Please make it all stop tomorrow morning.

Please God please....

This is too much to bare...........