God Hi.

He called me 3x today.
I know its nbd lol he only talked about ministry. Yeah... You're most likely tired of hearing me talking about this to you and I don't think you are not even happy me having  these thoughts.

Pero... Pa express lang ng honest feelings.
Wala... Magsasalita lang.

Kwento kwento to you, you know.

I don't actually miss Brian anymore God.

I hope he missed me tho...

I hope he did that's why he called me 3x saying the same thing.

I thought it was Chase bank calling me, but it was just him lol

Actually, yeah I did missed him a little...

He's just across the street from me rn God.

But thank you kasi super guarded na ako :)

Willing to flee na ako and have a lot of strength to flee till time.

I hope he is doing well.
I hope he is okay and happy.

Hmmm, you guys have each other :)
Sana super happy xa with you.

I know he will be.
I know You will fill his cup :))

I'm just venting to you.

As much as I want to see him and call him and message him and all. I feel like your love satisfies me more at this time na that I don't crave Brian as much :)

Thank you God.

But yeah, I do miss him...
But, its okay God.

I love you :)

Season of Rebirth and Restoration is now over.

I am now in the
SEASON OF SURRENDER.

Oh man.
Oh maaaaaaan.

The Lord's decrees are FIRM.

They are hard to follow but they are RIGHT.

Man.
Oooooooh man.

I thought B and I can hide... Lol
Honestly speaking...

We are not doing anything wrong, well in our eyes. Yeah yeah just like what the verse that the Lord told us... We don't know that we are wrong till He reveals it to us... His judgment is not like ours.

Well 'cuz u know, we never ever slept with each other, all we did was kiss which only happened once that's why we are now on break.

But I thought UGH okay Lord fine yes we did compromised.

You know we hold hands, we cuddle, we talk a lot lol but THAT'S IT.

But yes I know we promised.
Your will above ours.
Your kingdom before ours.

No other move without your consent
Because any move without you is unstable and most likely will make us fall.

SO FUNNY.

I never thought Brian and I would very get into deep like this to each other.

Man.
This is some serrrrious stuff now.

I started to find comfort in his arms.
I started to find joy having him next to me following Jesus.

He is starting to be something special in my eyes now.

I'm scared.
I am actually falling for him...

So I guess it's good that the Lord is there to protect us and surrounded us with people that knows God and cares for us.

The Lord promised both of us that there is a great reward for both of us after this.

PSALM 19:9-13

His heart and the way he loves UNCONDITIONALLY and SELFLESSLY...

His boldness and leadership.
His confidence in God's word.

A TRUE MAN OF GOD.

But not ever great man is mine.
Not until God says that it is mine.

Just like Mama Niks and Kuya Mark.
:'(((

I am all in, in a way that now to think about it... If I am in Mama Niks' position and I see Brian with someone else and treating her like how he treats me now...

Its going to hurt me.

And I know if I do the same its going to hurt B too...

SO FUNNY.

My phase just got serious lol

Hellla long phase.

Just kidding I am FAR from seeing this as a phase na. I am all in now lol....

It was great while it lasted.

If the Lord brings us together someday, I can hold him, I can be with him and spend as much time as I want with him anyways.

Its just right now, its not time.

We are still babies in His eyes.

Our flesh is still stronger.

And there is a chance that we might put each other above God.

God wants us to appreciate Him more and spend some more time with Him and fall in love with Him more.

Be COMPLETELY satisfied with Him.
As if He is sweeter than honey and more precious than gold.

Just let it Mike.
It will be worth it.

:'(

You missed me too.
You're having a hard time too.

:'(

I miss you B.
I miss you so much...

When we are ready
When the Lord thinks we are ready
We will reap what we will sow

It will be worth it.

He may bless us with each other or maybe someone even better.

Meeting you made me realize that, that is possible and that I really can meet someone with a great heart like what you have.

Someone who will put everyone before himself
Someone who will do everything for people without asking anything in return, no recognition, no appreciation or anything.
You will still pour out your heart even if they don't know, you don't even want them to know or anyone to know.
Someone who actually values integrity and honesty, a lot.
Someone who will follow the Lord and would lead me closer to Him than to himself, even if it means cutting me off.

Cutting me off not because of selfish gain, but for the good of everyone.

Someone who will lay down His life for God.

I am not even just saying these 'cuz I like you.
Like I can say these things because I see it and its so obvious.

Your heart, boldness, leadership, commitment to Jesus, confidence in His word.

I wish you can be mine.
I wish we can be together now.

But I am SO GLAD, that someone actually sees eye to eye with me when it comes to this.

Not like how I have to explain everything to Daryl and spoonfeed him with everything

I am very happy I met you B
I miss you SO MUCH

But I will endure :'(
I will stay strong for the Lord

As a servant.

As a warrior for Him.

I am not here to please myself but Him who created me.

It will be worth it and we will reap the fruit of our obedience.

Better this than be in disobedience and feel His wrath and delay all His blessings and will in our lives.

Someday B
Everything will be okay.

The Lord is just protecting us.

Goodnight B.

STAR CROSSED LOVERS LOLOL

Katniss and Peeta analogy again LOL

I miss Brian.
I wanna talk to Brian.
I wanna spend some time with Brian.

Why am I having such a hard time.
Why am I like this.

Do I care?
I shouldn't care.
Fuu I care.

Why do I care.

I miss hugging B...
I miss B.
I miss B a lot.

Dang it, I am all in.

I MISS YOU BRIAN
AND THIS SUCKS SO MUCH

#porjc

It took 13 years for Kuya Lex to get the greenlight

And if Kuya Lex survived.

We will survive.

The pain of obedience....

It just gets harder by the minute.

It was already hard for me not to text him, to ignore him in the crowd............

Then the Lord will ask us to completely cut ties.

Took our ministries out for a month and took each other away from each other.

THIS IS INSANE.

I thought I can handle singleness and waiting and praying for my spouse.

Man, this is a whole new different level.

I miss Brian.

A LOT

And this sucks.

He is not even allowed to go to my birthday... :'(

My birthday Lord...........................

Freakin' KP and mommy Niks going hella hard on both of us.

I understand.

I'll submit.
I'll obey.

I'm just venting.

It sucks.

I miss him.

A LOT.

Bye bye Worship Team

UGH.

Okay God! I know... Warning...
Things could get worse!

My birthday....

I was about to sing...
This entire month of November.

I was there already...

But its okay lol. 

I understand.....

We gave in...

We were doing so great then BOOM.

But things could get worse, good thing it just affected ONE of our ministries and not all and our sheep.

I didn't want to stop.

But we have to stop....

I miss Brian...

I don't wanna move on...
I don't want to forget...

Darn it I guess I am all in now too

I don't want to run away...

But... I will.

Anything for Jesus.
:'(

#imissub

Week 1 has passed

Sunday. I saw him yesterday.
He talked to me yesterday, but not very long.

His smile :)
I saw his smile yesterday :)

I missed him.

Today I read through my old journals since I came back.

I saw how the Lord broke me and how He delivered me

I saw that prayer I did too for GB.

And the next day I saw what Brian gave me the first time he prayed for me.

Prayed for me not like GB status.
More of like, prayed in a way of brother sister lol

'cuz that was the time I was really struggling if I should talk to Yell and tell him that I forgive him.

& I remember Brian gave me verses from 3 books.
3 from Titus, one from Exodus and 3 from Psalms.

& during that time I wasn't even spending time with him yet

And my prayer said that I hope that GB loves food trips and loves fitness.
I pray that he loves QT with intense hikes and beaches and nice views.
QT's with good food too

Dates with Jesus, dates where we can have QT. I pray that I can write songs and sing songs with him and fall in love with Jesus together.

I also said how scared I am and how I don't wanna see him in my life probably, but I just wanna let him know that I am praying for him.

Then B came.

I AM NOT SAYING B IS GB YET
I AM JUST POUURING MY FEELINGSS

then after my prayer he sent me the verses then after that he asked me to QT with him. I know later he invited others too LOL but you know of course that is when I started to be kilig.

Then I saw he loves to hike and to eat and views and Jesus.

And I saw his heart for the Lord then I was like I wanna be close to that fire.

Then when he speaks I feel closer to God and makes me wanna run faster towards my God.

ANYWAYS

but nobody was ready & this is nothing we should be focusing on. Should not be in our heads REBUUUKE LOL

I am just saying that I saw that and I got kilig. Lol....

That was the first church activity we have since we confessed to the leaders and decided to cut each other out for Jesus.

Mgbbday na ko.

Its okay.

I understand.

Our yellow light turned red.
Darn it LOL

Itsssssss okaaaaaay

For Jesus and His people :)

Katniss and Peeta

I was watching hunger games and allllll I think about is us.

-_____________-

Get out of my heeaaaaaaaaad.

Katniss and Peeta reminds me of us LOL...

Like how they're fire and water.
Sun and Moon lol

And how Katniss is slightly taller than Peeta LOL

Well, B is slightly taller than me but I feel that I am taller sometimes lol

And how in the end Katniss was like "Let's just forget about everything" and Peeta was like "I don't want to forget"

LOLOLOLOL

It reminded me of that time when I was like "Just get rid of me B" and he's like "I don't want to"

LOL

GET OUT OF MY HEAAAADJDJDJSJ

And how Peeta was so calm and Katniss was like very aggressive lol...

& Katniss liked Gale which is her total twin
And it reminds me of what I think of Daryl LOL

How Daryl and I were SOOOOOO similar

And I remember in the books Katniss said that fire can't be with fire

She needs someone who can balance her out.

Peeta was nothing like her, so she is staying with Peeta.

BUT I AM NOT SAYING I WANT TO DO ANYTHING AND U KNO BE THIRSTY AND ISH

I am just saying it reminds me of my current love life LOL

STILL GOING TO GET RID OF EVERY MEMORY BRIAN AND I HAVE A RUNNING AWAY FROM HIM AS MUCH AS I CAN.

DAY 1

I thought I will be okay

Last night I was okay
Last night I was like, I think I can get over this easily.

Should be fine.

Anything for the Lord diba.

Pero, ewan ko ba.

Namimiss ko :/
Gusto ko xa kausapin

Pero, mali.

Tama na.

Sumagad na kami.

Yun na ang una at huli.
Dapat ng tapusin.

We got too confident...

One little unguarded conversation.
One little unguarded hang out.

Just took one.

I really pray that all soul ties that was created that night will be broken.
Every memory we created will be broken.

I am sorry God.

I am so sorry.

Andaming ngyayari :)

The more we obey, the more WE flourish.
The more WE reap blessings.

SO MUCH WORK

WAY TOO MUCH

I remember I went through something like this with Daryl before, but I remember during that season we were going downhill and there was no peace.

The Lord is working LIKE CRAAAAAAZY rn.
Way more than when I was with Yell.

& before I felt overwhelmed.

But now I feel joyful and blessed.

Lemme pray for B real quick lol
'cuz even if we are working and flourishing.
I kinda wanna know....
If B, is GB.... straight up from His mouth.

'cuz I am learning a lot from him
I am super encouraged whenever I see him
I feel Him close when we talk
I feel that we are walking the same
BUT what if its just because we are BOTH workers!!! & all the workers are... Nahhh actually nahhh... Its just B and I LOL who have been getting the same LOL

BUT you know

I don't wanna pursue it
You know I don't want to God
There is SO MUCH work that needs to be done.
WAY TOO MUUUUUCHHHHHHSNSSNJSJSHSHSHSHSHHSHSHSHSHHHHSHSHAKAOHEBSJSB

I just wanna ask. :)

:)

Masaya ako sa lahat :)

Feel na feel ko that I am in the center of His will :"))

& obedience is going great with B and I.

Our ministries our flourishing :)))
Spiritual growth for both of us is on point.
Life is going great :)))))

Thank You God :"))))

Of all things to click on, I have to find THIS specific blog of yours.

2 years ago. This is what you said.

CHEATER.

----------------

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

The stupid things I say when I try to impress

"So, just like a girl, I dwell on things even the most littlest thing i say.

I was talking to mike today, and I brought up this thing about since shes gone for a week, I have a hallpass that all my friends have been saying to me.

I told her about my friends talking about cheating, and i'm so stupid because I never even thought about doing that to her or to any girl i've been with. I just try to make BS up to make myself sound sweet to her, when it just truly comes out wrong .... :(

I hope she understands I'm a faithful guy. And I would never ever do such a thing as that to her. I love her way to much to do something like that. And my heart is not like that , because no one deserves to be cheated on.

So I just want to let her know, that I'm stupid. I made crap up to make myself sound sweet, even though it turned out wrong. And i'm sorry. I hope this doesnt make u think of me in a different way.

I love you way to much to do that. And i think i'm just trying too hard  to impress  mike, because I care. And when I do, I say stupid stuff thats not even true =( i'm so dumb. lol

SORRY :(

I love you and I would never do anything like that to you. EVER!"

-----------------------

I still can't believe you cheated on me TWICE.

You made a fool out of me TWICE.

7 months since Katrina & Jennifer

5 months since I came back to church.

I am still trying to cope with things.

I am better for sure because Jesus was there and healed me.

Well, healing me.

I think I am healed.

It's been 7 months.

Only been 7 months and the Lord have done SO MUCH in me.

SO MUCH.

To think all about it.

The floodgates really did opened as He promised.

My heart?

after 7 months.

Very different...

But I am free and at peace.

SO MUCH PEACE.

& I truly feel that I am in the center of God's plan.

I am still very bitter.

But each day I am progressing.

I am scared.

of everything.

But I guess that's good 'cuz that gives me an extra guard.

I like Brian.

I like someone new now, but that is not the focus of my life right now.

I do like him a lot but I am scared.

Which is cool 'cuz the Lord say stay away anyways.

We can't mess up everything we worked hard for.

All the breaking that I got from that man whore Daryl Ogalino.

Will all be wasted if I give in.

& I am not sure with B yet.

He is really nice and have this AMAZING personality and BIG BIG BIG heart for the Lord.

But He is not from the Lord.

What we have rn is just pure temptation.

Although we are not doing anything bad like how Yell and I were.

Although it's all still very innocent and cute and ish rn

Since our foundation are emotions.

I cannot stand on that.

THE LORD DIDN'T GIVE THE GREENLIGHT LOL

BASICALLY.

& anything without the Lord's greenlight will always fail

Like how Daryl failed.

B looks promising rn, but all men are still pigs deep inside.

Not until the Lord said okay.

I moved on from Yell

but the damage is still here....

& what he did really is affecting EVERYTHING I am.

Affecting my relationships

the way I view myself 

& the way I view my future spouse....

The Lord is still healing me.

He will wipe away every fear, I know it.

Every bitterness and anger will be replaced by forgiveness.

I'll continue to fix my eyes on Him

& my heart will continue to pursue His will.

I still hope that Yell is happy and at peace too.

I still hope that his life is aligned with His will too.......

After everything, deep inside I know.

I want Yell to be intimate with the Lord.

That is all I want.

Intimate and reach His full potential as a true SERVANT of God...

I can't get my journal just yet so imma do it here lol

I'll put the beginning of my prayer here.

Maybe QT now here too. Maybe idk lol

I got 2 confirmations now of how You feel God. Same exact verses and instructions from 2 different separate people.

Then KP after soaking.

Then this lol
What happened after.

You're mad ha.
:/

Sorry God for being so stubborn and halving my obedience.

Yes I am avoiding him but my heart is definitely is still consumed by him.....

Yeah okay. I admit B is here now...
I'm sorry for not wanting to take away anything I feel for him.

Sorry for my partial obedience.

Thank You for the instructions and warnings.

Nde ko inakala na I have a flock too.
I didn't realize that you already appointed me to lead and to shepherd.

I know you are using me everywhere.
I know that.

Multimedia Ministry
Doing advertising for church
Doing videos for church
Graphics, etc.
Worship Team
I'm already singing at church
Singing for Spanish Bible Study
Women's Fellowship

People know I am a servant, which I am but I didn't know that I am a leader already. I just came back.

Sorry God for not seeing that I have a flock and you already entrusted lives in my hands :/

For Brian...

Brian is distracted now... I can feel it.
I am too....

The thing with B, he doesn't know how easy it is or what its like for your flock to scatter.

I was there when it happened.
I know what its like.
I experienced it first hand.

& I don't want that to happen again.

We are both Shepherds now....
BOTH.

There are lives in his hands and MY HANDS TOO.

If we continue, the flock will slowly scatter and die.

His was Spanish BS and I feel...
Eric, Pacheco, lol the Salvis.

Mine...
Alexa, Ej, Karana, Kimmy Ang, the girls of YA

Ate Rox, Cho & Ate Niks, I have a HUGE FLOCK.

& even if I did fell away.
I am still a veteran.
People look up to me.
Whether I like it or not.

I set an example to the people in YA, especially to the new ones.

So I really need to wipe it clean with B

This should be none of my worries anymore.
The Lord doesn't want it.

There is an urgent need and I am one of the main chosen ones.

Right now

I need to decide what to do and tell myself and my heart what I am dedicated and decided to do.

Tonight is the night I guess.
This NEEDS TO BE the end of Brian and MaiQui.

The Lord said that Brian and I will happen, and when that day comes he will not be happy because it is the result of feeding our own flesh when we should feed our spirit with Him.

He is a great guy.
VERY GODLY.
VERY CARING.
MAN OF INTEGRITY.
GREAT PERSONALITY.
ON POINT ON HUMILITY.
COMMITTED.

Great man.
GREAT MAN OF GOD.

I think my love for God is greater than my desire to hold his hand and kiss him and be around his arms now.......

The Lord have a higher need of what I can do in this season. Brian is not the reason for this season. It's the revival and getting back what the enemy has stolen.

So...
I'll end it tonight then....

And if we talk and we get the chance.

I will tell him that I don't like him anymore.
I will tell him I moved on.
I will tell him I finally realized that he really did just filled the void that Daryl left.

:'/

'cuz if I say that I am fighting it.
Feelings will still be involved and will be there..........

Maybe, :'(( ugh God...
Maybe if I hurt Brian it will be better.

I am ending it.

Lord please give me strength.
Please I pray I won't like him anymore.

There is a higher need.

The Lord needs me.

Anything and everything for the Lord.

ALL IN

Hella ALL IN

The way he looks at me
The way he takes care of me

& nung sabi nia na he knows that I am still healing and very broken...

That's why he is giving me time to heal & gets mad when I entertain other guys.

Part of him of course is jealous lol
But he said that these men, what if they don't love God enough that they would decide to just make moves out of their own flesh. I am very vulnerable still, and guys know that & they most likely will take advantage of that.

& knowing Brian's BC days.

I really thought I was one of his girls that he lures too....

& pastors are really good with words and I really see that! LOL like he delivers things in the most attractive way. Choice of words always on point!

But you know... He's right if I am, we've been talking for this long already. He should have made a move to sleep with me, looooooong ago LOL

He said the desire is still there of course, but His love for the Lord is greater now.

& he said that there are more things that he likes about me than his physical attraction towards me.

(PSHHHHHH LOLOLOLOL)

He gave up so much for Jesus.
The party life
The girls
The sports car
The nice independent life

Adjjssjsjsjks
NO IM NOT ALL IN NO NO NO NO
JJSJDJNSJSJD

I'm just saying.
He is so encouraging.

& that he really understand the struggles of obedience.

& that it is important to submit to authority.

He knows that we are both not ready.
And understands that its hard not to give in and just not be patient and risk all of our ministries.

But he is helping :)
So we can obey.

Yesterday after Spanish BS
I saw a different Brian.

Brian is all in.
I am not.

& he knows it.

He said if we continue to obey the Lord will reward us FOR SURE.

We must stand firm.
For Jesus
For our Ministries

& he said.
Master first
Then Ministry.

Then Mate.

We are in the ministry level
Don't mess it up MaiQuiQui!!!!!!!!

A man who brings you soup, gives you tea, meds and covers you in prayer.

Ugh.

KUYA.
KUYA BRIAN.

:)

Prays for me
Takes care of me when I am sick
Encourages me with God's wisdom
Pushes me to be closer to God
Pushes me to find more confidence in Him
Buys me food
Encourages me to obey

Too good, but I am still running away.
Thank you tho :)

Thank you :)

SPRING TIME :)

Worship Team
Multimedia Ministry
Spanish Bible Study
Nursery

New gifts:
Visions
Tongues

My responsibilities are growing.
:))))))
Thank You God!

Brian God.
Whatever, just as we both promise You
We will just focus on You

I'll continue running towards You
I'm happy that He understands too and have fear for You too.

Please continue to guard our hearts God
'cuz we both know something is brewing and I am not ready yet.

Ikaw na bahala
I am just VERY VERY happy that I am serving You :')

I love You God

Spanish Bible Study

Thank You God for using me in this ministry! :)))))))) kahit super minimal lang alam ko.

Mauulit ba?

I don't want to put my hopes up and let my imagination take over LOL

The Lord just used me because I am willing.

Its not that Brian and I will be in the same ministry now lol and he'll be the leader and I'll be the worship leader. I don't even speak español LOL

Its the willingness.

It could be a one time thing.
I'm leading for them next week again.
Idk, it would be cool tho. I really wanna learn and be used here too.

Just kidding, of course part of me is kinda kilig LOL

REBUKE!!!!!!!! LOL

I'm just thankful that I am used :)
Sana maulit ulit.

I knew there's a reason why I am learning español now LOL

For multimedia and Spanish Ministry!

:)

#forjesus

God, why are you making me remember.

Okay FINE.
I HEAR YOU OKAY.

I CAN HEAR YOU LOUD AND CLEAR.

Why are you making me remember.

God, I DON'T WANT TO REMEMBER.
YES I AM LYING TO MYSELF EVERYDAY

YES I AM SUPPRESSING IT ALL
YES I AM FAKING IT ALL
YES I AM SEEKING BRIAN TO MASK THE PAIN AND FILL THE VOID

Why God.
Why are you making me remember
Why am I missing him
Why God

What do you want me to do

I miss him God.
I miss him a lot.
I thought I just miss Tux

Then God....
You made me think of him
You reminded me of the things I've been trying to forget

Why God

The pain...

Its still here...

All here.........

NO GOD NO
I DONT LOVE HIM
I NEVER DID
NEVER WILL
NEVER AGAIN

I NEVER LOVED DARYL OKAY
NO GOD NO

I DON'T MISS HIM
NO

Ba't ganun.
Andito parin xa God
Nasa puso ko parin xa God
Bakit ganun
Bakit mahal na mahal ko parin xa God
Bakit ganun

Bakit hinahanap ko parin xa

Okay fine, I'm not over it.

WHY DON'T YOUUUUU KISS MEEEEE BRIANNNNNNNNN LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

JUST KIDDING.
JK, IM NOT.

Okay, this is my ranting blog. I shall. Be true.
LOLOLOLOL

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

He spent time with me in the car. Alone.
For a loooooooong time.

OMG MaiQui.
I don't know.
I am tempted to let go again and let my desires be and just experience and let lose. Ya know.

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhh

I waaaaaant to haveeee ittttttttttttt
I want usssssssss butttt noooooooooooooo

Noooooooooooo

Guard.
Must.
Keep.
Strong.

Djjsjksnssjsknsjsjsjsbshsksjhdsjjsjsjsj

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
CAN I JUST HAVE ONE KISS FROM HIM?

UGHHHHHH KP WAS RIGHTTTTTT
I AM PLAAYIINNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGG

I WANNAAAAAA PLAAAAY WITH FIRENSJSKSJJSJSJSJDJOMGOGOGMOGMFMGOGMOFMFMOMGGGGG

And we don't stop.
Brian and I PAUSE.

UGHHHHH

Just.
One.
Kiss.

NO NO NO

Ugh, do I want that desire out?

I SHOULD TAKE IT AWAY.

DESIREEEE GO AWAY

UGH BUT I WANT IT.
AAHHHHHHHHHHH

DO U WANNA LIVE IN THE DARKNESS AND DISOBEDIENCE AGAIN MAIQUI

DO U WANNA GET SLAPPED BY JESUS AGAIN MAIQUI

OMGGGGGGGGGGGG

GUARD BRIANS HEART TOO OMGGGGG

THIS IS THE SEASON OF REAAAAPING

MAIQUI DONT MESS IT UP
DONT MESS IT UPPPPPPPPPPPPP

AHHHHH TEMPTATIONSSSSSS
OMGGGGG

MAIQUI WHO'S LOVE IS GREATER
WHO DESIRES YOU MORE
WHO'S LOVE IS MORE SATISFYING.

WHAT IS FOR ETERNITY!

REMEMBER WHY HE BROUGHT YOU OUT

UGHHHHHHHHDJSKISNSJOSJBAHJSKSJ

BRIAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNN
WHAT ARE WE DOINGGGGG OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

BRIAAAAANNNNN
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

I think I am over it.

And I will stay over it.

Yeah.

I am not a user like Daryl.

At least I caught myself.

I do like B, A LOT.

But I don't think its fair for him and respectful for him, if I just jump into things especially I just broke up with Daryl.

I am not that thirsty like Daryl.
And I am not desperate for a companion like him.

I have better things to focus on.
I have much more important things to think of.

I will not use B to make me feel happy.
Although he does

But I want the Lord first, to satisfy me COMPLETELY.

Not satisfy me, WHILE I am with someone and my heart and attention is divided with someone.

I want God to be my boyfriend and the reason why I am happy and the one I turn to when I am sad or stressed or whatever.

I want God to be my everything.

And if I do this, I don't want to be like Daryl.

I don't want to be a user and be shallow and immature and have no self-control like him.

I don't want to look thirsty and be thirsty like him.

And Brian deserves a woman who is not broken. I still need a lot of healing.

Hurt people, hurt people.

I will continue to tell myself that Brian is nothing.

I need to kill what we started.
I need to kill whatever grew.

Its over and done.

I don't need this.
Its too soon.

I am not as desperate as him.
I respect the people around me.
And I am not driven by emotions.

I am not thirsty and immature and a user like Daryl.

hshwkebbekaheosiesbieb!

FIGHTING ITJAJDJBEBAKBSKD

MYYYYYFLESHHHMAYYFAAAILLL!!!

SO WANNA SAY GOODNIGHT
SO WANNA SAY HOW ARE YOU

IIIIIIIIIIII
MIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSS
YYYYYYYOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUU

I WISH I CAN SAY THAT TO YOU
I WISH I CAN DISOBEY AND JUST RUIN EVERYTHING AGAIN

I WISH I CAN JUST GIVE IN TO TEMPTATION AND JUST PURSUE THIS AND FOLLOW MY FLESHLY DESIRESSSSSSS

WHY DOES FOLLOWING JESUS HAVE TO BE SO HARDHAJDJJNJD

WHY CANT THE OTHER PEOPLE PURSE WHOEVER THEY WANNA PURSUEEEEEE

NSJRJSJEJJEKRKIKEKEKEKKED

Sorry Jesus, I'm just ranting and letting it all out.

You know I love You! LOL

BUT JESUS THE STRUGGSSSS
THE STRUGGGGSSSSS JESUS UGHH

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

THE COST OF FOLLOWING YOU

AAAHHHHHHH
I DON'T WANT TO GET OVER HIM
I DONTTTTTTTTT WAAAANNNNTTTT

😭😭😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔💔

JESUSSSSSSSBDNNSJSNDJSNNSNS

WHY CAN'T I JUST DISOBEEEYYYY

BUT I WONT CUZ I LOVE GOD

IM JUST RELEASING MY FRUSTRATIONSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I miss you Brian😭💔😥

Rebuked! LOL

KP said, if I continue this
I will hurt him more than it will hurt me

I will hurt him 10x more...
Because I still have the hurt and insecurities from Daryl...

Whoever I am going to be with is going to be hurt, not until I am completely healed...

I can do this
I'll stay away

KP said I shouldn't let Brian let me be his God, because it is starting to be.

What we have is setting us up for destruction.

Isipin ko daw
It will not just hurt us but the people around us too....

The damage will be worst than Daryl....

Because this time,
It will hurt me, and him A LOT, our ministries, the people we are shepherding, the people he is teaching, the people he is leading.

Everything and anything we worked so hard for Jesus will all be destroyed...

I am the one carrying this KP said.

I need to help Brian..........
I need to feel for Brian and the people he is taking care of.......

If I truly care for Brian, I need to help him.

Its gunna hurt him now but it will be worst if we let it happen.

And it will hit him hard........... :'((

Sorry Brian.........
Good thing this happens now...

The Lord loves us both
Kea to ngyayari.......

I will really miss u a lot.

FOR JESUS.

Bbye Bae
It was such a great spending time with you

Bye.
#standfirm

I miss u :(

I hope I see you at soaking later
I wonder how are you going to be...

I miss u B :'((((

:(

The Lord said to listen to His rebuke.

If we want to find Him
If we want His wisdom.
If we want to be fruitful.

We must respond to His rebuke.

This is the Lord's way out.

:'((

I hurt him...

"I'm okay, he is okay, we are not okay"

I miss you B!
But ugh, I guess this is fine.

I said I will follow wherever you lead.
I will go as far you go.

Its getting deeper
Its getting stronger
Really strong...

KP said I need to try too
I need to fight it too

I need to help Brian
We need to help each other

We can't mess up now

I just ugh but whatever the Lord did this for a reason.

I disappointed him :'((((

Nde ko naman inakala!
I just ate.
I thought he would trust me

But I do understand where he is coming from..................
I know why he is mad....................

He said it will happen again. :'/

To earn Brian's trust is so hard
And to lose it is SO easy.

Is that really how your past hurt you B

:(((((((

Its just God...
I can feel how HURT he is!
I felt it.
Brian cared....... A lot :'(

I'm all in
He's all in :'(((

Are we sowing the right seed?

Well, whatever it is. We are stopping it...

KP said if I can, I should stop it.........

:'(((

We can't its too early....

FOR BOTH OF US

its just God...
I miss him already, BUT ITS OKAY I WILL FIGHT IT.

He said he loves my hugs because it feels right. Ugh T_________T

And those eyes! The way he looks!
Brian! I hate this! SO MUCH

I AM SORRY

MY WORLDLY HEART IS SCREAMING LOL
PLEASSE GIVE ME ANOTHER CHANCE

I REEEEEAAAALLLY REALLY WANT TO SHOW YOU WHAT I CAN DO & GIVE

I REALLY wanted to tell you how much I love your hugs too that's why I hug you 10000x before you leave.

I wanted to tell you how much I love your company.

I wanted to tell you how much I love your voice.

I wanted to tell you how much I love you boldness.

YOU DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH I WANT TO KISS YOU.

I want us.

BUT that is me without the Lord speaking and without my guard.

I need to acknowledge God in all I do and guide my steps and do what is right before Him.

So I guess, I will suppress it all.

THIS IS NOT THE FOCUS OF OUR LIVES RIGHT NOW.

& Brian deserves his P31 and that is not me yet. He deserves his woman of integrity.

He deserves the best.

If I truly care for Brian, I will let this be.
I will let him go.
I will let him grow.

I will continue to run after the Lord.

Its just nice to see you sprinting around the crowd with me...

You know B.
I HATE THAT I LIKE YOU A LOT NOW.
I HATE IT. I HATE IT. I HATE IT.

So you know, I think... You got a little piece in my now....

And I have to surrender that.

I'm really really sorry for hurting you...
I don't know what to do.

I'm sorry, Brian.
I really am.

And I miss you a lot already.

Yup, fell for him now.

Crap.

Part of me wants to run away, part of me wants to stay.

But, I think it's just my flesh talking when I say I wanted to stay.

I love talking to him
I love spending time with him.

And feeling this way scares me.

He is not pursuing me
I ain't pursuing him either

It all just happens.

But, it's not the right time.
And I don't really want this....

But if I just let my flesh and my emotions lead me.

I can say that I really do want to be able to kiss him lol and hold him....

Before I didn't want to, now I look at him and I have the desire to.

But I am rebuking it as much as I can.

I'll just keep ignoring it.
Until it fades.

God, can you please make it fade now...
Since this is not the right time.

I don't want to see him that way
I don't want to desire him

I need to help him to guard his heart too.
I know B is getting attached now too.

I really really want to spend more time with him.

I really really want to eat out with him.
Work out with him
Do QT with him
Ride in the car with him

Just him.

I am falling again....
I need to run away
I want to run away

But part if me wants to keep it going

You know what.
I'll be distant starting right now.
I'll let him talk and be there but I will be as undesirable as possible.

I'll make him leave me just like what I did with Yell.

I'm running away.

Natutuliro ako when you talk about money lol

Here we go again...

Lol, I remember with Yell we always talk about science.

With B its always calculations
And it just happens in regular convos lol

And he calculates them like nothing.

And honestly, I feel that this is harder than what Yell used to talk about lol

Praise God for your wisdom and knowledge Pastor B

"Casey only allowed her heart to go as far as Joel leads"

Divine Matchmaker

:)

Okay, I am not as terrified anymore :)

Praise God talaga.
Thank You talaga God.
Sobra sobra sobra sobra

I was freaking out SO MUCH earlier
'cuz my emotions are taking over me.
And I know he feels the same too.

It's really different talaga if you have the Lord in your hearts and if you are committed to Him wholeheartedly.

Today, we didn't only got revelations but encouragements :')

Well for me I got comfort, revelation and encouragement.

I can see that it is not us that keeps both of us on track. It the Lord and our decision to follow and obey

Praise God talaga that we both love the Lord and He is in our hearts and that we both made a commitment to hear Him everyday & not rely on our own understanding.

Thank You God for using Him to encourage me God to trust You more and be bold for you.

Thank You for introducing me to a friend like him.

We will just focus on Your wisdom and we both know that You will guard our hearts

Praise God talaga that You speak to both of us. & with this, damang dama ko na sabay kme. Its just B is running 100009990982928282929x faster than me, but we are in the same path. Idk

Like when we share QT to each other or I see his its like with mine too

Like right now what I see is that I am running towards God with all my might then there is this person who is running with me in the same area and when I see him I get encouraged to run faster.

'cuz its like he understands.

Like we are not running hand in hand
Just together.

& that kiss that didn't happen lol although I kinda felt like sayang LOL ayan na eh! Haahahha

But u know...
I feel like the most intimate part of our day is when he asked me about the soaking session and how did the Lord speak to me and how he told me that I have to be bold.

Jesus talks.

Is when I feel the most intimate and happiest.

Because the topic is the one we love the most and how to love Him better and live for Him better.

Thank You talaga God.

Boldness.

Pastor question and answer portion with Pastor B right now

Boldness God.
You want me to share
You want me to speak up
You want me to grow more
And get out of the comfort zone.

Enough of the baby food.

You want me to be a warrior now.

PRAISE GOD.

Thank You God that he hears from you :')

Praise God talaga.

I was so scared.
Thank You God that You're both in our lives and that we hear from You.

I was so scared.

After we do our QT, I had so much relief.
When he shared to me what the Lord told me, I got so happy :))

Praise God talaga.

Its really different when You are in our presence God. Ibang-iba

You really guide our paths as long as we fix our eyes on You.

Thank You talaga God.
Thank You.

My heartttttt

Okay B, today I'm not gunna lie I am KILIG TO DA BONEZ.

AND I AM SCAAAAAARED

CUZ I AM BORDERLINE SEEING YOU AS A PHASE TO SOMEONE I ACTUALLY WOULD FALL IN LOVE WITH AND ITS TERRIFYING.

Terrifying because the Lord said we are both not ready.
Terrifying because we both have responsibilities in His kingdom now.

AND YOU B.

I am so scared for you too!!
I am scared for your ministry.
I am scared for your walk.

Lord!! I am so weak still!

I am scared!!

If Brian have off days and he got weak, I am scared because I am depending on his strength....... And commitment and obedience to You...

I KNOW I KNOW GOD
Its wrong to depend on his strength to keep us obedient.

But what I learned from Christian dating is that the man always always always always lead the girl.

That's why I was confident with Brian.

But today Goddddd

GOOOOOOOODDDDDDD

PLEASE GUARD OUR HEARTS.

DO WHATEVER U CAN TO KEEP US FROM SLIPPING.

I am scared 'cuz You didn't say if we are for each other and whoever that is not GB that I am going to fall for will always lead to destruction and I don't want that for both of us

And we both know that our relationship with You is the most important relationship that both of us is going to have.

But our flesh God...
Our desires...

I am starting to get attached to him.
I am starting to get used to him.
I am starting to like him more and more.

Today, and yesterday I felt that he let his guards down too... Idk for some reason maybe because he is worried about his dad and he just wants to be okay. I don't know.

Yesterday, he was next very sweet to me.
Yesterday he got me food.
Yesterday we were next to each other most of the time.

Today.
He surprised visit me at my house during his work time before he go to the courthouse.
He visited me and ate at Woodranch.
Aaaand omg.
I thought we were gunna kiss today omg
PRAISE GOD IT DIDN'T HAPPEN.

Omg, I am SO SCARED.

GOD I DONT WANT TO FEEL YOUR WRATH ANYMORE. I DONT WANT TO HURT.

Please protect Brian and I.
You know our deepest desire is You alone God.
Please don't let our flesh take over us...
Please God please.

I am terrified....

Okay fine, until your dad feels better.

I'll be extra nice to you. :)

But after that back to normal lol

Okay just por today k

Today, I let my guard down.

I know your sad.
I'll be here.

I'll do my best to cheer you up :)

And do whatever will make u happy :)

If the Lord said yes...

Okay, let's think about this for a moment.

Let's say that Brian is GB and the Lord did wanted us to be each others companion to serve Him better.

Am I ready?
Can I accept it?
DO I REALLY WANT THIS LOL

Brian and I are so opposite lol
And he's so uncalled for
Very different from all the guys I've been with

Like, in a way that... He's not a musician, artist or whatever. His decisions are very different compared to my usuals.

His way of thinking is not like the guys I've ever been with at all

Well, he is very smart
But he doesn't have any pride at all

Well in my eyes.

'cuz me, ALWAYS. ALWAYS. ALWAYS. the guy I usually like have CRAY CRAY EGO and SUPER DUPER PRIDE CHICKEN.

Brian gets what he wants too and stuff but he is so humble about everything. VERY HUMBLE.

So uncalled for a guy that I would ever like.

He do acts kinda girly, which is a trait that my guy always have to come with LOL not my choice, just happens all the time lol

And he is very classy

Okay, the point is.
He is not the guy I usually go for

He is sensitive and very jealous.
Which I like lol

Okay, let s settle this right now.
DO I WANT THIS.
DO I REALLY WANT THIS.
WOULD I BE HAPPY IF THE LORD DECIDES TO GIVE THIS TO ME.

B, is very hardworking and dedicated to Jesus. So I can have my nice wedding lol

He is short tho
Lol

DO WE LOOK GOOD TOGETHER?

Well, I am happy having him around

He is mataray thats for sure.
Taray level higher than mine
I thought I was mataray, then this one proved me wrong LOL

AM I READY TO BE A PASTORS WIFE IF THIS HAPPENS.

DO I WANT TO LEARN SPANISH

LOL!!!!!!!

Okay, naiveness aside.

Honestly, I don't see a future with Brian just yet.
I like that he loves the Lord and all that Jesus stuff, but there are other things I need to consider.

SO WHY AM I FLIRTING AND ENCOURAGING THIS?

I don't know makes me feel good lol

AHHHHH

Heart is deceitful above all things who can understand it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LOOOOORD I AM SCARED
I AM TERRIFIED

I AM REALLY REALLY SCARED.

I AM LIKING HIM MORE THAN I SHOULD
and the fact that I am thinking about these things IS HORRIBLE.

I SHOULDN'T CARE OR EVEN WANT TO THINK ABOUT THIS.

SHOULDN'T EVEN CROSS MY MIIIIIIIINNDD

& the fact that I prayed about it! AND TALKED TO JESUS ABOUT IT IS BAD.

I AMMMMMMM GETTING ATTACHHHHEDDD OH MAY GAD I DONT LIKE THIS I DONT LIKE THIS I DONT LIKE THISSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Okay Brian, you're gunna hate me for this but I will try to stop talking to you.

I swear, I am going to do it.

I am liking you more and more and more and I AM GETTING REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY SCARED.

YOU'RE TALKING TO ME MOOOOOORE

Brian my HEARTTTTT MY HEARRRRRRRTTTTT MY HEAAAAAARTTTTTTTTTTTTTNDDJSJJSHBSBSHSHSH

I DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT THIS NOR FEEL ANYTHINH LIKE THIS ONLY FOR JESUS!!!

I DONT WANT BOYS FOR THE NEXT 3 YEARS OF MY LIFE.

OMG LOOOOOOORDDDDDDDD
LOOOOOOOOOOOOORDDDDD

I LIKE BRIAN A LOT
AND ITS GROWING AND GROWING AND GROWING

I AM TERRIFIED.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND UUUUU

I am feel you getting closer to meeeee

When you said that the Lord said noooooo

I got no for now and I think you're saying no so I won't think about it

BUT YOU ARE CLOSER TO MEEEEEEEEEEE

MY HEART BRIANNNNNNN

I AM SCARED

YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE JUST A PHASE OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

LORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's a no, lets keep it at that

He just explained everything that the Lord gave him yesterday

And the Lord told him to wait for 3 years and God got mad because he brought that up LOL

Sooooooo specificccccccccc

But that 42 months could be 42 days, 42, years LOL 42 hours, 42 seconds BOOM HAHAHA

That's not us to decide.

I dissected it and I got no for now
But I asked him and I said "So, its a no Brian"

And he said "yeah"

so I'll leave it at that

No

BUT WHY IS HE GETTING CLOSER TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

But whatever, I'll leave it at that.
NO.

I got a no for now in those and like no for 3 years hahhahahaha

And no because of weakness
No for not the right time
No for the temptation

In general, NO.

& we are not supposed to be thinking about this right now and the Lord got pissed off that he brought it up lol

Well Jesus was cool to me hah!

Hmmmmmm
Actually I am okay that its a no

I REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY
REAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLYYY
like his heart for the Lord.

And how very encouraging he is and stuff.
His humility, obedience, commitment.

Okay let's encourage myself to see things why I should be happy that its a no. LOL

He's short ahhahahahahhhhahah
(LORD PLEASE DON'T EVER LET BRIAN FIND THIS BLOG LOLOLOLOL)
He's fat ahahhhahhahhahhh
He doesn't sing LOL
(AWH IM SO MEAN LOL)

OKAY, nvm
I am getting mean LOL

Let's just leave that he doesn't pass my super high worldly standards lol

But he do have a REAAAALLY nice smile.
He have big arm.
He loves to workout and be active
And food LOL
He have a very humble heart and a devoted heart for Jesus.
If the Lord ask him to sing and play an instrument he will.
Anything that Jesus ask he will do.

But its a NO

I think its a no for now LOL but
Let's leave it at that a "NO"

And Brian and I will not think about this ever anymore and will remain bffs.

I'll keep in mind that its a no.
And I am okay with that.

Kinilig ako lol

I was looking at the Praise Night line up
And lol

Kinilig ako when I saw he will share his testimony lol

I knew he was going to share

Okay, imma stop kbai

Okay fine lol

PATIENCE.

He said that the Lord is testing my patience in this season.

& he said that the Lord might give him what he wants but the satisfaction of the flesh will make him sick.

Maybe he didn't explain it to me more earlier 'cuz he doesn't want to think about it anymore too.

I am still not very clear about the Lord's answer to his prayer.

Kinda wanna know u know

I wanna know the details.

Okay, B and I are definitely distractions from each other.

Does it take time away from the Lord?
Hmmmmmmmmm... Sometimes.

I think about him too much lol

& the Lord said we are temptations from each other.

Also, the Lord talked about lust

Well I ain't lusting.
At all LOL

SOOOOOOO, maybe that is for the one that prayed about it hahahhahhah

Jk, but what I got from that is that the Lord is warning us of what is to come if we let our flesh lead us.

But there was a promise in the end.

He will lift up our horns and truly bless us.
As long as we respect His timing and obey and follow Him.

All I got from mine was to work and wait.

LOL

EHL OH EHL

Brian was so detailed lol
I thought my prayers were detailed lol

& yes Brian, I ask for detailed things too! Maybe I just wasn't blessed with the ability to interpret the bible in the way like you do.

Lol

It wasn't very clear in my head but...
I don't want to think about it anymore.

I'll just ignore and suppress it all till its all gone.

I'll just move on and forget it.

I trust that Brian will obey.

As long as he is obeying I know I will be okay.
Brian is very strong.

I'll just pray that He will keep getting stronger and obedient with he Lord and find confidence in Him in all he does.

I'll get over it.

I'll forget about it.
it's not really the focus of my life right now.

I'll just go as far as Brian leads.

Hmmmmmmmm...

Nah, I don't wanna think about it anymore.

Imma sleep.
Goodnight.
Lol

You wish I was there

You kept asking if I am where you're at

Kooya Bae ha LOL

No, I won't bring you food at work.
I can't.
I don't have a car.

I would take the bus for you and bring you food, but I won't 'cuz I can't LOL

Thats not very guarding your heart move

So starve and keep dreaming of breakfast burritos and sinigang.

Hahhhahahahhhh you just responded hhaahahhahahahaha

Bae <3

One on one

Okay, bae and I literally broke all the rules today.

One on one QT
One on one eating
One on one car ride

Aaaaaand I don't think I have and I don't think HE have his guard up.

Well I do admit that, I did miss bae

And bae was so sweet!
SO WHAT A GIRL WOULD DO LOLOLOLOL

okay, I'm gunna stop.
This is the last time I am going to do this.

Jk, I've been saying that.
I DONT KNOW LOL

Well I am going to keep saying that till I finally did it.

I have to be careful and not fall in love with Brian.

Baerian LOL
Kay God imma stop bai lol

Swoon swoon swoon

Swoon for Jesus
Swoon for Bae

Swoon

I need to write to Jesus like how I diligently write in here

I need to be excited to talk about Him more

I am still very young
And it shouldn't be that way for long

I want to grow
I want to move forward
I want to do more for the Lord
I want to be bold

I miss him tho...
Haven't talked to him for...
Omg 4 days.

Well we talk but not much anymore
All business
All fellowship

3 min conversations

And bae looks stressed out
I wanna help him out

God, is it wrong if I ask him what's wrong?

Possibly his bills, his ministries, his teachings, his testimony, his boss (lol probably she's back haha), family, or all of the above

I pray you give him rest
Bae looks so tired

I hope he is okay

I'll pray for him

& I need to fast
I'll start fasting this Wednesday
Then after that I'll do Mondays, so matching with the Soaking at night

I need to grow
I need to be more focused

Ugh I miss Brian Lord D;
I really do

Idk if it would help if we pray about it
He asked if we should
And I said no

Idk God

Actually, I'll just keep doing what we are doing.
I miss Brian so much LOL

I hope he misses me too... LOL

I don't wanna flirt with someone else's beautiful husband and not every good man is your GB.

And I wanna do God's work.

BUT I MISS HIM SO MUCH
I WISH I CAN TALK TO HIM
NORMALLY

I WISH I CAN HANG WITH HIM
I WISH I CAN WORKOUT WITH HIM
I WISH I CAN GO HIKING WITH HIM

I MISS DOING QT HIM

I WANNA SHARE MY FIRST CLUBBING EXPERIENCE TO HIM AND HOW SCARED I WAS OF THE THIRSTIES.

I swear that place!
FIRST AND LAST.

I wanna tell him stories
I MISS TELLING HIM STORIES

I MISS BRIAN PERIOD
AND ITS DRIVING ME INSANE.

BUT GOTTA BE A P31 FIRST
GOTTA LET THE LORD CONSUME ME FIRST.

Will not risk distracting bae and myself

I miss u bae
See you tomorrow at Prayer Night

OKAY, I AM NOT GUNNA LEARN SPANISH NO MOE

No no no

YOU THINK I AM DOING THIS FOR U
HAH

FOE DA LORD DAWG
FOE DA LORD

YEAH!! PART OF IT IS YOU CUZ I DONT WANNA GET LEFT OUT BUT OF COURSE FOR JC TOO YA KNO

But since you think that way!
Freakinnnn "shhhhhhuuuur"

Well,

You know what, I will probably learn it still 'cuz I am enjoying it and I really wanna learn! SO PASTOR B, FORGET U.

You're gunna be stepping it up a lot this coming WEEKS DUDE. WEEKS.

No, not months to go. In a week or so! SOMEONE WILL SHARE THEIR TESTIMONY AND TEACH AND LEAD.

Here I am starting my services too anddddd not being diligent with mah QT LOLOLOLOL

Gotta... Step up mah game too

Ugh, school, bills, work, ugh new consulting firm, ministries!

All I need is to get plugged in again to JC with mah KYOW-TEEEE

Pastor B, be on it with Jesus
Gotta catch up LOL!!

:)

NSJHSBSSH

Gotta let that pride down and guard high up!!!!

And as I say that, I say that to myself too LOLOLOLOLOL

Actually your guard seems higher.
K, imma make mine higher LOL

Sometimes I wonder how come you never get annoyed of me!?!? I AM ACTUALLY TRYING TO GET ON YOUR NERVES. LOL

Whatever, that ain't the focus of this season.
Do whatever chu want
Think whatever chu want

I am going to fix my eyes on JC

Praise God lang for you making me smile like this and making me feel close to Him :)

Narealize ko lang

I am not who I was before
I am a whole new different person
And I am constantly improving

I always dream big
I always wanna accomplish
I always wanna be successful

I never stopped
I never gave up

Buhay lang lagi ngyyri

'cuz the Lord always wanna tell me na He have a plan.

HIS>mine

I will be something great
For Him

I will not settle

Mejo nakikita ko na what the Lord said that if I continue to obey and fix my eyes on Him I will see His goodness

& the more I grow closer to Him
The more I see His greatness and mercy in my life

Realize ko lang
How important it is to keep my eyes on Him
& how much I've grown